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Hope is a Verb

“Everything that is done in this world is done by hope.” -Martin Luther This week has been dark. Friends are very sick, women are being relegated to the Dark Ages, there is barn drama and change, elder care is still so hard, racism remains a core value for many Americans, …

feliks riding in equestrian event

Practice In-Task Silence

Last weekend, Feliks rode his new horse, Rigby, at the Tryon International Equestrian Center (TIEC). It was his first “rated” show. I don’t really fully know what that means, but it sounds important and Feliks was nervous and so happy to be there. I drove him down last Thursday – …

Loosen your grip

In mid-May, I hosted one of my virtual writing retreats for women. I always fall in love with the women who arrive for these retreats; each gathering has its own magic, language, and feel. And at the end of each one, we all want it to continue forever, that community, …

Celebrate with a Cupcake Horse

Today, my son and youngest child, Feliks, is turning 19 years old. NINETEEN! Truthfully, there were days I didn’t think I could survive his childhood. And now, he is driving, getting his GED, training his horse, and talking about college. About six years ago, a wise mother of an older …

We are Failing our Children

What does horror feel like in your body? Nausea? A hollowing out of your chest? Bile rising in your throat? A rapid chill in your limbs or a spread of heat through your face? I felt all these this week as I tried to imagine the horror those children and …

Keep your brain well-oiled

I am writing this note to you from a barn in the beautifully green countryside of Western North Carolina. Feliks’ horse, Rigby, needed new shoes, so we met the farrier here as he put the shoes on her. I don’t know anything about horses, but I am learning. Feliks bought …

Let Yourself Break Open

The 42nd anniversary of my father’s death was yesterday. Today, I am reprinting a story about him that I first published in January 2016, following my heart attack. This is what broke me open. This tiny bottle did. The moment I saw it after John brought home all my new …

Fight for everyone’s right to choose

We are now in a WHOLE NEW MONTH! WHOLE NEW MONTH! And unfortunately, at the same time, we have regressed by decades, poised to strip people with a uterus of their right to bodily autonomy, the rights of everyone to marry whomever they love, regardless of gender or race, to …

young mare with rider

Offer The Last Cupcake

When my kids were small, if they wanted the last cupcake, I would always give it to them, even if I really wanted it. I remember my mother doing the same. And I still do the same, though my kids are older now.   Everyone parents differently. This is my approach. …

photo of old foreclosed home

Lighten Your Load for the Rest of Your Life

When my mother was in her final years, she took out a reverse mortgage on her house in my hometown, against my advice. Soon after, she couldn’t live alone any longer so she moved to a different city to live with my brother and his family, leaving almost everything behind …