(Real) Women play the tuba – Emma Ptak

Emma_and_tuba_shirt When I was in the sixth grade, as soon as I was eligible, I joined the band.

Girls played flute and clarinet, and boys played trombone and trumpet in those ancient days, long before sliced bread or ball point pens were invented and back when Chicken Pot Pies were New! As Seen on TV! Freeing Moms Everywhere from the Drudgery of Cookery!

Mr. Smith, our band director, would likely have passed a gallstone at the very idea of a GIRL in the low brass section. No, no, it just wouldn’t do. And so we stuck to our reed instruments, longing for the day in eighth grade when we could break loose and switch to bass clarinet or the fantastically nasal oboe or the beautiful red bassoon.

Fast forward several hundred years to Emma’s entry into the sixth grade band four years ago. "Flute is nice," I said. "And very compact! Easy to transport! You could carry it home in your purple camouflage backpack!" My whole strategy to convince a 12-year-old was evidently based on exclamation points.

"Nah," she said. "I think I’d like to play the trombone."

And then I said it, like that little boy in "A Christmas Story" when the lug nuts from the car tire go flying through the air as his dad is trying to change a flat, and the boy says, in very slow motion, somethin akin to "fudge": "But trombones are so heavy! Girls don’t play trombone!" I heard myself say.

She turned to look at me, astonished at what she was hearing after all those evenings of captivity when I pulled out the flip chart and Mr Sketch markers to explain what cultural norms and stereotypes were.

"What?" she asked. "Girls don’t do what, exactly?"

"Just kidding," I said, realizing that my gender norms were showing, unable to believe what I had just said. Where did that come from? How unconscious and deep-seated some of our beliefs about normalcy are. "But flutes are so much lighter! Don’t you think trombones are awfully heavy? And loud?" This from a woman who decades before had played Pee-Wee football, the carrot-top who beat the boys in the sixth grade softball toss.

I’ll admit it–at this point I was in survival mode. Mid-40s, pregnant, new town. Emma was starting band just before I was due to give birth. Screaming infant and trombone. Screaming infant and trombone. Screaming infant and trombone. Call me crazy, but it did not appear to be a match made in heaven.

The sixth grade band tryouts were an interesting ritual. Kids were called up one by one to blow in different mouth pieces, the band director makes a pronouncement, and their fates are sealed. If Emma had squeaked a pitiful little squeak in the trombone mouthpiece, her whole band history would be different.

But she didn’t. Shy Emma took to the stage and ripped open a sound that stopped all noise in the band room. Fathers and mothers turned to look, the band director clapped her hands together in surprise and joy, and I dropped my Luna Bar but was too pregnant to bend over and pick it up. "Wow!" the band director exclaimed. "That’s impressive! LOW BRASS for you, young lady!"

Emma bowed her head, beaming.

Trombone it was. Turns out that everyone who heard her play talked about what a beautiful, unusual tone she had. The girl was born to play trombone. Until a year later when she was born to play tuba.

Are you the only girl trombone player?" I asked after the first day of band. She rolled her eyes. "Of course not, Mommm."

Of course not.

Emma_in_her_band_beret She joined the marching band in high school, sticking with it after a lot of her friends dropped out, a loyalty I first admired in middle school when she stuck with softball on a team that in two seasons got on base twice, and one of those was when Emma was hit by a ball thrown by a 13-year-old pitcher with obvious anger control issues and a strong fast ball.

Tuba players switch to sousaphones for marching season, those big silver bells sitting atop their heads, seen from great distances on the field. She is a Very Serious Marcher. No joking around for her, eyes forward, back straight, dedication, deep bass sound. She is a force to be reckoned with on field at half time, moving swiftly and surely into formation, an anchor of sound for the band to center itself around.

Have I mentioned once or twice or several hundred dozen times how much I love and respect her?

Emma_and_her_sousaphone Turns out that girls do play trombone. And tuba. And sousaphone. And they become astronauts and astronomers and run for president and hopefully, one day, they will learn to become great, not just good–but great in their own, private, personal definition of great, not society’s definition of it. Hopefully, one day, the generation that has been told they can do anything, will–not because they feel they need to measure up, or be a role model for their gender, or because that’s the only way they can gain respect, but because they want to, because they simply love the sound of low brass. Hopefully, one day, those who don’t remember the days of Old Math (trombones=boys and flutes=girls) will realize that sometimes change starts with a tuba.

About Patti Digh

Patti Digh is an author, speaker, and educator who builds learning communities and gets to the heart of difficult topics. Her work over the last three decades has focused on diversity, inclusion, social justice, and living and working mindfully. She has developed diversity strategies and educational programming for major nonprofit and corporate organizations and has been a featured speaker at many national and international conferences.

55 comments to " (Real) Women play the tuba – Emma Ptak "
  • What a fantastic entry today! As a former flute player, who was part of a marching band who indeed had a female tuba/sousaphone player, she rocked! (And was one of the most popular girls in the band, I might add due to her trailblazer attitude.) This one really made me smile. Good for Emma!

  • Becky

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post! Sure the beginning was great (and way to Emma for doing it your own way) but because I loved the last paragraph and it’s been something I’ve been saying for years.

    I’d like to say that as women we’ve gotten past the point of ‘needing’ to do certain things in life because we’ll feel that if we don’t do them we aren’t living the life we ‘should’ be living.

    I want to thank every single feminist who came before me for allowing me to make my own CHOICE about what I want my life to look like. Do I want to work outside the house? Do I want to work from my house? Do I want to stay home with my kid? It’s a choice that I have the ability to make because of such feminists that have come before me.

    Now I just wish some of the current feminists will realize what they were fighting for!

  • Yaye! Take that girl to New Orleans to witness a second line someday!
    Make sure she brings her brass!

    I was gleeful the day I told my mother how I was the only one coordinated enough and with a good enough sense of rhythm in our entire class, to be chosen for my favorite instrument- the drums.
    Then she and my father burst my bubble explaining that “girls don’t play drums”…So, I played the clarinet and didn’t get past junior high with it, cause, though I loved music, clarinet wasn’t my instrument of passion.

    I remember the outrage I felt when we went to Greece and I saw a female drummer in my uncles band! I felt so cheated.

    Years later, that outrage transformed into performance art- angry, outrageous performance art about gender discrimination.

  • and a note for all women who take on jobs that are not traditionally offered to women:

    When I was told I could not be a set P.A. because I would have to carry stuff-
    I pointed out that I carried toddlers heavier than anything I wouldn’t use a dolly for.
    In my 20’s I cared for my bio and spirit son. As toddlers,
    one was 40 lbs, the other 60lbs (he wears a size 16 shoe now and is over 6 ft tall)
    so, yeah, that tuba ways less than a toddler and diaper bag combined.

  • jf ptak

    I am so totally, absolutely, tirelessly proud of this young woman. She is all her own, yet she is also her mother’s daughter.

  • abirdinthehand

    Thank you for yet another outstanding post on a very special young woman. (This is turning out to be quite a month). My dear friend who is nearly fifty plays the trumpet so as you can imagine, she can tell stories. I tell her that she gets to announce all the significant events in the musical pieces. About the pride–enjoy every second of it, mom and dad.

  • When I was in the 5th grade…1957, I started playing the trumpet. Because it was such a small school, I got to play in the High School band (what a treat!) I played trumpet for 13 years, and still occasionally pick it up and am surprised at what I remember, at age 61. When I go back to that little town, people always ask if I still play the trumpet…I was a bit of a legend, and no one ever tried to talk me out of it. Pretty amazing for the times.

  • I can’t imagine there are many loyal 37 Days readers who aren’t huge Emma fans–I know I am. Good for her! That first photo of her is unbelievably beautiful–not just because she looks beautiful in it…but because she looks like a young woman who knows just.who.she.is.

  • Betsy

    Patti — we’re pretty close in age. You just grew up in the wrong place! I played French Horn starting in fifth grade (and stuck with it through college). And every couple of years, our (male) band director chose a couple of female flute or clarinet players to move to Sousaphone for marching band season, as the regular tuba players were on the football team!

    And, 3.5 years ago, when my oldest was in 5th grade, and I was six months pregnant, he came home and announced he was playing drums in the band. Must admit, similar thoughts flew through my head: drums, screaming infant. Drums waking up screaming infant just when Mom is getting a much needed nap! Wasn’t a pretty thought. We went with the electronic drum set with the headphones, and everyone was happy.

  • wow Betsy, a Rosy the Riveter sort of band experience.
    While the boys are playing war, the girls get to play Sousaphone…interesting.

  • Virginia W. Pence

    Oh, how I remember. My youngest daughter came home from second grade and said she wanted to play soccer, at a time when most places hadn’t thought girls might have such an interest. I caught my breath and said, “Whom do I make out the check to for your shirt and insurance?” Living in Soccer Town USA (The National Soccer Hall is two miles away from our house, now) mean numerous city teams for all ages and both sexes, and I wondered where this was getting me as I stood in the rain (and snow) every fall and was timer for the games.

    Fast forward, and my daughter graduated from college and was working for an electronics firm. It was still mostly a male field, but when she was sent to Cork, Ireland to help out with their special machine for testing cell phones, she was asked if she could play soccer. They had a 12 hour charity game to raise money for a special charity every Christmas, and they needed more women for the team. She agreed to play for an hour before running out to do Christmas shopping, and the following Monday at work, the general message was “The Yank plays a good game of soccer.” It was a really neat contribution to international relations on a very small scale.

  • I agree with her. I played the flute in high school but oh how I longed to play the tuba or the base drum. Hurray for her.

  • oh my, this made me teary and made me smile all at the same time. awesome. :-)

  • ashley

    I know we’re celebrating women this month, but in the interest of celebrating diversity and open-mindedness all around, I would like to commend my brother-in-law who played the flute when we were in high school! This was in the ’90’s, and of course he was presumed to be gay… he was taunted and avoided because… well, it was just “weird” that a guy played the flute. Thankfully my sister appreciated him for who he was and for the beautiful music he made (he is quite a musician), and more than 11 years later they’re still together. Cheers to everyone – no matter what gender – who breaks a cultural norm!

  • Ashley

    I went to the band tryouts wanting to play flute, and came out a drummer. I’m shocked my parents allowed me (though my mother always sabotaged my practicing) and I became one of the best drummers in my extremely large school. I still play to this day, and every now and then I realize how much of my adult personality comes from playing drums.

    Drums taught me how to deal with sexism. They taught me to be assertive. They reinforce my usual desire to be in a support role rather than the star (I did tech theatre too, I plan events, etc. etc.). They let me be loud and obnoxious, and generally awesome.

    I still feel the sting of social disapproval, because if anything drums aren’t a “pretty” instrument. They aren’t demure, or “dignified,” and the total opposite of girly. I know I’d feel more accepted if I played something like piano, harp, or flute, but it’s just not who I am. I seem to NEED an instrument to hit.

    I’m thrilled your daughter plays tuba. I have so much respect for tuba players (sousaphone is the ONLY instrument heavier than drums, thank you very much). Have you seen the University of Illinois drumline/sousa opening? What those people do with their sousa’s is amazing.

  • My baby girl plays ice hockey – with all boys. She owns the rink in pink socks! And yes, I tried to steer her toward the more feminine figure skating, but I’ve surrendered to the thrill of hockey.

  • Angela

    Things have changed in the low brass section! My last year in college the trombone section had 9 women and 3 men. It was rather satisfying to be a part of that section.

  • I just came across your blog. I love it! I will be back often.

  • Well, that’s a freakin’ AWESOME post. And I will take it to heart, as my daughters are soon to start playing instruments.

  • sylvie

    yay! They made me play flute, too. even though I wanted to play trumpet. But then in high school, we had no low brass at all, and a better band teacher. I volunteered to be trombone, and there was no looking back. It was waaaay better than playing flute. True, it was a pain to lug around. But I didn’t mind. Trombones in their cases have gravitas. Three cheers for your daughter.

  • Steve

    Check out this article about Carol Jantsch, who was appointed Principal of the Philadelphia Orchestra a couple years ago.

    http://www.tubanews.com/articles/contentid-261.html

  • what a beautiful post! I was in the marching band from 6th grade all the way through college. And i played flute (well piccolo actually!!) :) It took me until my SENIOR year of college to switch to a brass instrument (i switched to mellophone horn). This came at the same time in my life that i was learning about women’s studies and feminism and wanting to be HEARD more and more. My first time on the practice field with a mellophone made me understand exactly what i was looking for :)

  • What a touching story. I am glad I found your post through feministing. Thank you for posting that.

    At times, I wish there were a book called, “Chicken Soup for the Feminist Soul.” This story would surely be in there.

  • Tuba Terry

    I started playing tuba in 6th grade. Aside from the 2 or 3 years where I was the only tuba player in school, I’ve always been in a section with at least one female tuba player. Then I joined the Marine band. There was a female tuba player stationed on another base (heh, bass), I got to meet her a few times. She rocked at everything she did. That probably explains why she was a Staff Sergeant so early in her career.

    My sister plays nearly every instrument imaginable. She’s playing baritone in the Phantom Regiment Drum and Bugle Corps right now, I’m really excited for her. I’m glad she didn’t have to grow up with restrictions on what she could do.

  • Found you through Feministing… In the 5th grade, I wanted to play saxophone, but Mom made me play clarinet as a “starter instrument.” Of course, I gave up within a year because the clarinet is no saxophone! So, good on you and good on Emma. It is so inspiring to hear about the children who follow their hearts’ desires.

    So, now I play the banjo. Because I want to.

  • Ktuba04

    Yay! I’m a girl who has been playing tuba for 12 years (and I was all-state for four of those!). I love hearing about other girl tuba players.

    I’ll know we’ve really reached equality when people stop offering to help me lift my sousaphone. (No one ever offers to help the male sousaphone players.)

    I’m so impressed that Emma’s band director let her play. When I was in fourth grade and trying to find an instrument, I got into a huge fight with the high-school band director. I think he was eventually too scared to fight with me anymore and let me play tuba. I’m glad things are getting more progressive!

  • I loved this post! Band has been such a big part of my life. I play the bassoon, and my little sister plays the trombone. And she plays it loud, not only just as good as the boys, but in fact better than most of the boys older than her. I’m so proud.

  • DRST

    Here via Feministing-

    As a former (girl) baritone (AKA “euphonium” for the snooty patoots out there) player, I say GO EMMA!

    I started on the trumpet, but my braces forced me to an instrument with a wider mouthpiece (insert lame joke here). And I stayed because there were approximately 8,000 trumpet players in our school district at any given time, and about 5 baritone players, so being even a mediocre baritone player meant I got to be in the competition band and travel.

    And yes, I was the only girl baritone player in the district. I was usually the only girl in the entire low brass section (baritones, tubas and trombones) too.

  • Ena

    Awesome post! I played the tuba in high school and I loved it. I switched from trumpet–my band teacher begged me to because I could read bass clef and no one else was willing to do it. I got teased by a few people, but with the help of my mom (a great feminist trombone player herself) I survived and even enjoyed it.

    Musical gender stereotypes are still alive and well, though–we had no male flute or piccolo players, one male clarinet player (out of 20), and the entire brass section except me was male.

  • Joy K

    Very uplifting, Patti! Blaze on, Emma! You are both an inspiration to us all . . .

  • Patti – A friend recently told me about your blog and I’m loving reading some of your older posts. This is such a beautiful portrait, and fills me with inspiration & excitement just dreaming about what instruments my girls will choose (they are almost two and five 1/2). Glad to have found you – I’ve added a 37days link to my list of blogs…

    Best,

    xo Jena

  • Skye Palmer

    Absolutely females play the tuba and sousaphone! I started on the flute in fourth grade and was switched to the tuba in eighth grade. Although no one believed my 5’2″ 115 lb. frame could handle it, I was determined to prove them wrong. 7 years later I was the sousaphone section leader for my college marching band. Tell your daughter to keep it up. Prove the stereotypes wrong and show the world what we females have!

  • okay…. I know I TECHNICALLY already saw the post for “tomorrow” but the VERY first thing I thought of was “DUDE! SHE CAN TOTALLY DOT THE I! Go Buckeyes! OH-IO!

  • Hey there! I found your blog via feministing. You must be so proud of your daughter, it’s lovely to hear of her determination.

    I never noticed this in my school wind band, but it was a girls’ school…

    However, when I attended the Sydney Harmonica Festival in Australia (inspired by the magnificent Vikki from The Waifs) there were around 10 women to something like 200 men. Could it be that the mouth organ is the last bastion of sexism in music?

  • jylene

    hi, patti– i read this post last week and had to come back to comment: congratulations! isn’t it a wonderful feeling to know you have raised a daughter who is going to go out and make a positive contribution to life? i know you are so very proud of all she is and i love your husbands comment– i’m sure she is more than a little “her mother’s daughter”! great picture too!

  • Thank you for this inspiring post. As a University Tuba Professor, I was pleased to hear about the sheer joy of playing she displays. Although, for whatever reason, there are fewer women who play the tuba, that is changing! Carol Jantsch, Velvet Brown, Constance Weldon, Kathy Brantigan to name a few. Thanks again for this essay.

    Could I have your permission to blog about this on Tubahead?

  • Millie

    Great entry! I just came across it. I played tuba and bassoon. They were wonderful, fun days that I will always remember.

  • Jill

    Hooray for Emma! My daughter just today did her “going into 6th grade, what instrument will you play – tryout”. She went into it saying “tuba all the way” – and she kicked out some wonderful “tuba-ness”. On top of that, the band director said she was thrilled and loves to have female tuba players in her band. It is going to be a wonderful experience for my daughter (and me).

  • Jen

    When I was a girl I played the tuba! And then I grew slowly into a woman and joined the Army… cultural norms be damned. I still like earrings and roses and high heels – I know I can be whatever I want, and it’s Mum that taught me that. I love you Ma!

  • i know this post is old, but i played trombone from fifth grade til college graduation, i just stumbled upon the post today, and it made me cry. as we used to say before marching band halftime shows, low brass kicks ass. and low brass girls kick a special kind of ass.

  • Jessica

    As a former girl trombone player AND section leader, I, too, received open mouth stares from my entire 7th grade band class when I stood up and proudly announced that I would be joining the all-male low brass section. Turns out not only did I rock the t-bone throughout middle and high school but by my senior year, I had three little proteges coming in at freshman band camp.

  • Wonderful story, an inspiration to all women. We love to see women overcome obstacles and prove we are capable and should be respected.

  • What a great story! I wish I got started on an instrument when I was young and played in the school band. Right on for Emma!

  • Melissa B.

    I liked this.. Alot! It makes me feel like I’m not alone. I’ve never meet or even heard of another girl playing the tube(my age). Which by the way is 14(8th grade), I’ve been playing since I was 10(5th grade). AND I’m the only tuba player in our Middle school! Ahh, holey camole.

  • In High School, I was a French Horn player. If you wanted to be in Marching Band, you had to play the trombone parts — there were no parts for French Horn players in the Marching Band.

    But they needed some more sound in the trombone section, for some reason.

  • Wow…
    1. My name is Emma
    2. I started out on the trombone in the 5th grade
    3. I switched to tuba and I’ve been playing it since

  • celeste

    I am also a girl in low brass! I have played tuba since I tried out for it in 6th grade. Its my freshman year in high school, and my first time marching. My school has contra tubas though. (The ones that look like a normal concert tuba but it just goes on your shoulder to march it). During band camp, I was extremely close to switching to baritone, but I never did. I know its fun, but super hard, and you get tons of attention for it. Marching tuba is completely worth it though!!

  • Burgundy

    Find this to be absolutely awesome! I am a Junior in high school and I play the tuba! It is so much fun and such an honor and joy. Playing the sousaphone during marching season is the highlight of my school year! I comment because I REALLY want one of those simply amazing shirts in the first picture! Where could I get one?

  • Jacqueline Brown-Gaines

    I play the tuba in my band and many people are super surprised to find that out! I didn’t really think it was that big of a deal until people starting going crazy over it. the tuba is the most amazing instrument ever. i started out playing the trombone in 5th grade and then moved on to trombone in 6th. Now that i am in 9th grade, it is my fourth year of playing and its been amazing ever since. I hope to one day play with the LA Philharmonic and become their first ever african american women tuba player :) where did you get that shirt by the way? i would love to have it!

    • Kiersten Grier

      I play the tuba in our 8th grade concert band and I plan to play next year in marching band. I started playing trombone in 6th grade and my private teacher begged me to switch to tuba starting 7th grade. I have defied the steriotypes and have been told that I am college schollarship material. So proud of being 1st chair.

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