Trust yourself
It is by logic we prove. It is by intuition we discover. -Henri Poincare
Recently, I was asked to speak to a class of seniors at my alma mater, Guilford College. After the class convened, we set out across campus and hiked a short distance into the woods on campus. At a clearing, we sat on the ground to talk. I was still reeling from the shock that I was now old enough to address the topic the professor had submitted to me–"From your vantage point now, what advice would you give to your 21-year-old self?"–but I recovered.
And so I began, there in the woods, in the cold, talking. I’??m a big believer in "organizing principles," and so had crafted my remarks around the "??six practices for intentional living" that I discovered in writing 37days for the past three years: Say yes, Be generous, Speak up, Love more, Slow down, and Trust yourself.
I told a short story to illustrate each piece of advice.
It was when I got to "??trust yourself" that I told a story I had never really told, one that surprised me:
It is so easy to discount your own intuition and "?knowing." Sometimes it even takes years to get back to yourself after doing so. Let me give you an example.
After my first book was published, I waited and waited for the box of books I would receive from the publisher. My first book! How exciting! The box arrived. I ripped into it, and I felt absolutely nothing when I saw the book. Nothing. It was as if the book wasn’??t mine.
I should have learned something from that experience. I should have trusted my reaction and run far away from that work. But I didn’??t. After all, the book was named a Fortune magazine "best business book." Speech offers came flooding in. By all external accounts, it was successful. I felt nothing.
I should have paid attention to that feeling, but I didn’t.
And so I wrote another business book. The box arrived from the publisher’??s and I opened it, quietly putting a copy on my shelf beside the first book, and closing the lid.
Nothing.
Only then did I realize: this is not mine to do in the world. Just because I’m good at it doesn’t make it my life’s work. I have something else, something more real to me, more connected and mine and human, to do. And so I began writing 37days.
So my advice to you is this: trust yourself. What you feel is telling you something. Pay attention to your gut. Internalize your intention. Don’??t go for the press coverage. Go for the intention. Risk your significance.
Today, I received a FedEx package with one advance copy of LIFE IS A VERB in it. Having stalked the nice FedEx man all morning, after it finally arrived I sat and looked at the package for an hour, then bundled Tess into the car and sped to Mr Brilliant’s shop downtown.We sat and looked at the FedEx package for a while, and then opened it.
It is deeply beautiful, beyond my wildest dreams. It is my daughters’ book, and it is deeply yours. Shaped by the amazing support and feedback from 37days readers, and written with the clearest intention I have ever had in my life: Create an instruction manual on how to live a rich, intentional life for my daughters so they will have it after I die. In the process, I myself learned how to live that life. It is a work of art. Truly. My thanks to those 37days readers who so beautifully illustrated it with art and poetry. We can all be proud of this one. This one, I deeply love. Tess has also written a book. Its cover is a recycled graham cracker box held together with twist ties. She has labored studiously over it for the past three days. It is the story of going to the dog park, and then home again, a journey through her day. She carries it with her everywhere. This one, she deeply loves.