Write a List

Yesterday was my husband’s birthday. I created a list of things I love about him to equal the number of years he has wandered around on this planet since birth! 67 things! I’ll post it below, but as I finished it, I thought to myself: I wonder if I could create a similar list of things I love about myself? I am challenging myself to create that list for myself by my next birthday, which will be my 64th. Could you do it? Let’s all try it!

I know I joke a lot about Johnny Depp.

And I write about Johnny Unitas a lot.

And Johnny Appleseed. And Johnny Cash.

But the fact is that there is only one Johnny. My Johnny, Mr Brilliant, the father of our two amazing children.

And today is his 67th birthday.

Have I mentioned how lucky I am to be growing old with this man?

Here are 67 reasons I love him for his 67th birthday.

1. He catches me when I’m falling.

2. He makes me laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh some more.

3. He makes good babies.

4. He is the best daddy in the universe.

5. He cooks.

6. He is curious. Insatiably so.

7. He isn’t content to ask Chef Google for a gingerbread house recipe. No, he calls the White House Chef and actually gets him on the phone.

8. He warms up the car when it’s cold.

9. He is the smartest person I know. Brilliant, even.

10. He runs after the ice cream truck for our kids.

11. He smells fantastic, a magical combination of Fahrenheit and old books.

12. He makes fun of himself.

13. He tapes lit candles to his forehead to make the kids laugh.

14. He goes out in snowstorms to help people who get stuck or who need help shoveling.

15. He runs toward people who need help when other people run away.

16. He thinks I’m beautiful.

17. He sends me flowers wherever I travel.

18. He is okay with the whole Johnny Depp tiny wee obsession.

19. He would be able to keep us alive on a deserted island.

20. He reads the sports pages and physics texts.

21. He takes me to the airport at 5am without complaining.

22. He can’t watch TV shows in which kids get hurt.

23. He holds down the fort.

24. He dresses up like a pirate and leads kids on treasure hunts during birthday parties.

25. He knows.

26. And he loves me anyway.

27. He is slightly crazy. In the best ways possible.

28. He’s cute. And the man sent me leaves to London.

29. He remembers everything he’s ever read and can’t remember to pick up cat food at the store. I find this very endearing most of the time.

30. He is loyal to those he loves.

31. He endures my last-minute packing.

32. He writes a blog that makes my head explode.

33. He would do anything for me, Emma, and Feliks. And does.

34. He vacuums.

35. He doesn’t suffer fools.

36. He makes lemonade stands and bookshelves for the kids.

37. He is my protector.

38. He bought me the 1930s wedding ring I wanted from Old Man Silverman’s antique shop. Even before he asked me to marry him.

39. He makes me really laugh with his imitations of Ted Knight as Ted Baxter and Bill Clinton as Bill Clinton.

40. He loves Jimmy Rockford and SpongeBob.

41. He does science experiments with Emma and Feliks and hardly ever causes explosions.

42. He cries when he laughs hard.

43. He and Emma memorized the “Who’s on First” routine when she was little.

44. He wears black jeans, white crisp shirts, and black cowboy boots.

45. He loves kid art.

46. He calls Billy Collins and William Gass and asks if they’ll talk to me.

47. He knows how electricity works.

48. He would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it.

49. He takes Feliks to Daisy Scouts and to the Li-bary.

50. He sings the kids to sleep.

51. He reads five books at a time.

52. He won’t sell his red books.

53. He puts candles in everything.

54. He is my best friend.

55. He endures my endless parade of rescue pets.

56. He has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen.

57. He paints my walls, baby. He paints my walls.

58. He is going to be adorable at 80.

59. He is the most complex human I know.

60. He captures my heart and soul every single day, even the bad ones.

61. For an entire year in a pandemic, he has done everything that needs doing to make it easier for us.

62. He takes care of our animals with a big-hearted love.

63. He helps me start ridiculously complex gardens without complaining.

64. He watches Doc Martin with me over and over again because I want to.

65. We have been together for 30 years this year. He is now the age my stepfather was when Johnny drove down from NYC to North Carolina to meet the family. It has happened so quickly, all these years. And they have been so full, so rich, so fun. He has never stopped making me laugh, making me feel cared for and loved, and making me so, so happy.

66. Even when he drives me the tiniest bit crazy, I still love him big.

67. He still makes me laugh big time. All the time.

I would choose him all over again. Happy birthday, my Johnny. I can’t imagine life without you, and I hope I never have to.