Self-Care is Not Selfish Care

I took last week off to be fully present at my Life is a Verb Camp. And inside Camp, I took whatever time I needed to remain fully present with people. That meant that I took myself out of socializing and into quiet solitude a few times during the weekend when I felt myself straying during conversations, or feeling a bit like I was having an out-of-body experience rather than being fully and physically there.

This meant that every interaction I engaged with at Camp had my full attention. My mind didn’t wander. I didn’t feel so tired I couldn’t speak. I felt rested and alive. I felt in touch and fully satisfied. I felt relaxed and open. And when I didn’t feel that way, I would isolate myself in my cabin again until relaxation and openness returned.

This is a far cry from Camps in the past where I was constantly talking with people and interacting. As an introvert, that just exhausted me. I would reach the end of Camp hardly able to form sentences, and of use to no one, not even myself.

Not this year. Rested enough to give a keynote speech on the last day, it is hard for me to remember the Before Times, fueled by caffeine, and desperate to become more alive though flat-out exhausted. Instead, I felt vibrant even on the last day this year. It was such a huge difference. And so simple to fix once I knew what I needed, and that was quiet time alone.

My therapist had told me before Camp that my only obligation is to my own happiness now. I tried this approach, and it made all the difference. Self-care is not selfish care and our own happiness is not superfluous, but vital.

What do you need to do this week to take better care of yourself?