Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things

April 21, 2011 in Uncategorized

Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

-Naomi Shihab Nye

One of my favorite poems from one of my favorite poets and human beings. If I could have my tombstone say only one thing after I go from this space, I would want it to say "she was kind."

[image from here]

About Patti Digh

Patti Digh is an author, speaker, and educator who builds learning communities and gets to the heart of difficult topics. Her work over the last three decades has focused on diversity, inclusion, social justice, and living and working mindfully. She has developed diversity strategies and educational programming for major nonprofit and corporate organizations and has been a featured speaker at many national and international conferences.

9 comments to " Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things "


KimMailhot

April 21, 2011 AT 9:13AM

One day, when I thought I had lost it all, when I had given up, the answer came : “Do something for another. That will save you.” That is the day that kindness became my religion, that Love became the One thing I have total and complete Faith in. It is what the world need so much more of. It is the One thing that I can always give freely. And for me, it is the One thing that will save me, and just maybe the world, every time.
I love your kind and loving heart, My friend Patti.

Sharon

April 21, 2011 AT 9:15AM

Without a doubt, one of my favorite poems. I listen to it in my car on road trips. Thanks for sharing it here.

tammy vitale

April 21, 2011 AT 11:33AM

I just read an article by Pema Chodron that said essentially the same thing.

Tess Giles Marshall

April 21, 2011 AT 12:12PM

Beautiful poem. I was amazed recently while following an online discussion about diversity in the workplace to see someone being castigated for suggesting that kindness is the key thing we need in our interactions with others. She was told (by a man) that ‘kindness’ smacks of paternalism and tolerance. Sigh.

Lila

April 21, 2011 AT 3:45PM

Sometimes, after I have said something that was perhaps clever but wasn’t very kind, I say to myself, “Patti would never have said that.” You’re my inspiration and I’m looking forward to being back in Patti-town. Perhaps proximity will lead to my improvement.

Martha Richardson

April 21, 2011 AT 6:41PM

Thank you for sharing these lovely poems…each one on each day seems to address something that has just taken place…yesterday I was thanked for my kindness…it was so easy because I have been there and today the poem that explains it so much better than I can.

Catherine Faherty

April 21, 2011 AT 11:36PM

This is probably my all time favorite poem by my all time favorite poet. Thanks for sharing it.

Dave

April 22, 2011 AT 9:54AM

That just hits me as wrong. Can’t you see it, feel it, and know it without being totally destroyed first?

Clara

April 22, 2011 AT 1:04PM

Love love, love, Patti. One of my favorites as well. It’s a wonderful reminder that light exists for us because darkness exists as well, and that it’s in those oppositions that we can most often see the splendor of the world we live in.

Thank you!