Consider this : tell them what you really do.

Dear Emma,

I hate to break this news to you, but you have maybe another four years before you get asked the proverbial “adult” question. It’s the question people will ask when they want to make some kind of sense about who you are before you even have a chance to tell them. It’s the question people ask when they don’t know what else to say.  It’s the question people use to make assumptions, judgments, and comparisons.  Don’t let them. Don’t you dare give them a one-word job title or a prepared 30 second elevator speech. Tell them what you really do and then ask them a question that will blow their hair back just as much as your answer did.

For starters, tell them you do a lot of things. Tell them you do your best to get a good night’s sleep and move your body on a regular basis. Tell them you make a mean stir-fry and on occasion a delicious dessert to celebrate a friend’s birthday. Tell them you do kind things for strangers and you do French accents with flair. Tell them you do surprise yourself from time to time by the amazing things you create with a computer. Tell them you still do laundry at home sometimes because you miss your parents and it gives you a decent amount of time to catch up with each other. Tell them what you do that makes your heart sing and your spirit soar.

Tell them what you really do, Emma and then watch how they listen and how they respond. Watch how a conversation between two strangers can turn into a magnificent sharing of personal stories that matter or a brief matter-of-fact report that doesn’t say much. What question should you ask them?  “What do you like to do?” is quite good. Of course you could always ask them the proverbial “kid” question.  “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  That should make them smile.  If it doesn’t, give them a beautiful smile as you tell them, “Thank you for asking me what I do.”

Congratulations and best wishes to you, Emma!

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