I already sent a note. As a teacher, I can’t believe that a school would willingly discriminate against a student who is (seemingly, according to comments) struggling to be accepted. I wish that brave student the best, and courage for the administrator to make the best choice in the face of a difficult decision in a community not yet willing to accept this member.

Here is the letter I sent today! SPEAK UP EVERYONE!

Dear Principal O’Rourke,

My name is Ashley Kite and I am writing to you from San Diego, California. Upon hearing of your decision to ban girls wearing tuxedos to their own prom, I felt compelled to write and ask for your reconsideration on your students’ behalf in regard to the ban of tuxedos worn by young girls.
As someone who is not too far outside of her own high school years, I look back and remember that what one chooses to wear to prom is one more avenue of self-expression. I have had friends who chose to wear Converse sneakers with their gowns, pantsuits, or any other combination. I understand the need for dress codes when it comes to matters of decency and overexposure, which many teenagers are all too guilty of, but a tuxedo is simply a matter of self-expression and of, perhaps, stating that women can be feminine and beautiful regardless of their attire. Many of the world’s most beautiful women have shown up to public events wearing gorgeous pantsuits and tuxedos by the world’s top designers and they are always considered a striking contrast to the customary dress.
What she chooses to wear to HER prom should be less of a concern than is she a good person, has she succeeded in school to be able to attend the event. And mostly, we should be grateful that this young girl has the courage to think for herself in choosing her attire, in determining what she thinks is beautiful and if that is different from what is expected of girls, this is the United States where THANKFULLY women are free to choose how they want to dress in public. Her choice is so conservative, I have to believe you have made an error in choosing to exclude her and hope you will quickly reconsider. Let her be an example to all of your students that her right to self-expression when done tastefully, is something to be admired, not something to be shut out.
There are so many other pressing issues in our world right now. What a young girl wears to her prom is a personal decision, not a political one, and should be left to her to decide how she wants to look back on that moment in her life. I sincerely ask that you reconsider your decision and help set an example of respect and inclusion and put this in perspective. It is a girl and her prom at the close of her high school years. There are so many other obstacles awaiting her in this life, please let her last moments of adolescence be a time of wonder and excitement, rather than one filled with sadness and isolation.
We would all hope to have someone compassionate to come to our aide if it were our daughter/sister/friend facing the same treatment .I hope you will be that person and reconsider.
Sincerely,
Ashley Kite
San Diego, California

We have a girly-girl and a not-so-girly-girl, who may one day decide to wear a Tux to her senior prom. I hope that by that time, seven years from now, that that choice will be just another outfit from which to choose.

We have been, and we will remain active in our schools – right now it’s middle school and primary school. I believe that we can help change things if we are ACTIVE (as in life is a verb?) in ensuring that change.

Our presence in the schools has opened our community’s eyes to the existence of other walks of life like our own – and we won’t be silenced because of rules that make no sense.

momma deb

at my junior prom, there was a group of senior girls who showed up in matching tuxedos and they looked so cool! my boyfriend didn’t want to attend my senior prom so i didn’t plan on going– until i found out there was a group of girls going in tuxedos. i knew them, but they weren’t in my circle, so i spoke with the one i knew best. it turned out there were 5 of them and the school was making them purchase tickets for 6 (three couples) so they were looking for someone to join them. there i was, at the last minute, looking for a tux– and i had a blast! seven years later, my sister and her best friend attended her prom in tuxedos.

Diane Keaton wore men’s wear to the Oscars. Julia Roberts wore mens wear to the Golden Globes. Bianca Jagger wore a pants suit. Tatum O’Neal wore a Tuxedo to the Oscars….all of these women are heterosexuals. The HS not allowing this this girl to wear a tuxedo to the prom is doing so because they don’t want her there. There is no reason to ban a tuxedo. Clothing these days is unisex. Does the school ban boys from wearing earrings? I wish the school administrator courage and hope he does the right thing. This could be a real learning experience for the students and the community. How ironic that the school administrator is trying to censor this student, deny her her right to be who she is, and does not recognize how the school could be an example to the community of inclusion.

I am nearly 40 years old and at my senior prom, I remember one friend who wore a tux and no one said a discouraging word. This was at a catholic, all girls, private school in the south….what does that say about you, Mr. O’Rourke? Step into this century and treat your students with love.