Seek primitive comfort

Fig12-YaronMahima My friend, Lila, sent me this poem today. She said it reminded her of me. I think it reminded her of Yaron, and perhaps me. That's what it reminded me of, the two of us. Of all of us. Of squeezing in next to someone, arm to arm.

So beautiful.

Sleeping Next to the Man on the Plane

Ellen Bass

I'm not well. Neither is he.
Periodically he pulls out a handkerchief
and blows his nose. I worry
about germs, but appreciate how he shares
the armrest?–especially
considering his size?–too large
to lay the tray over his lap.
His seatbelt barely buckles. At least
he doesn't have to ask for an extender
for which I imagine him grateful. Our upper arms
press against each other, like apricots growing
from the same node. My arm is warm
where his touches it. I close my eyes.
In the chilly, oxygen-poor air, I am glad
to be close to his breathing mass.
We want our own species. We want
to lie down next to our own kind.
Even here in this metal encumbrance, hurtling
improbably 30,000 feet above the earth,
with all this civilization?–down
to the chicken-or-lasagna in their
environmentally-incorrect packets,
even as the woman behind me is swiping
her credit card on the phone embedded
in my headrest and the folks in first
are watching their individual movies
on personal screens, I lean
into this stranger, seeking primitive comfort?–
heat, touch, breath?–as we slip
into the ancient vulnerability of sleep.

"Sleeping Next to the Man on the Plane" by Ellen Bass from Mules of Love. © BOA Editions, 2002.

[art by Mahima Shrestha for Life is a Verb]

About Patti Digh

Patti Digh is an author, speaker, and educator who builds learning communities and gets to the heart of difficult topics. Her work over the last three decades has focused on diversity, inclusion, social justice, and living and working mindfully. She has developed diversity strategies and educational programming for major nonprofit and corporate organizations and has been a featured speaker at many national and international conferences.

2 comments to " Seek primitive comfort "
  • Amanda

    reminders of our basic humanity

  • sally

    This is an illustration of just one of the ways you have helped me change my thinking, Patti. I try now to be much more gracious and welcoming as I sit in my allotted airplane space.

    Most recently, as I landed at Newark, I put a bookmark in Life of Pi and stood, inadvertently looking over the seat into the bag of the woman sitting directly in front of me. That bag held….Life of Pi. We chatted about how we were loving the book, then she said, “What page are you on?” WE WERE ON THE SAME PAGE!

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