I feel SO MUCH BETTER! :) I tend to picture you gliding through your life in a mostly zen-like place of calmness and compassion. (Well, except when you’re convinced you’re, you know, RIGHT.) ;) I’ll be on day 3 tomorrow…of day 1. I was ‘out’ by 8:30 this morning. I’m going to write this partially off to sleep deprivation (having been up since 1 am), but once I’d blown it, my mind and mouth acted as if I’d been given free rein…as if I was trying to make it a complaint-FULL day. Gripe-apolooza! Biking home I started thinking about reframing–thinking how little it would have taken to choose detachment instead of acting like Miss Righteous Indignation 2007. I plan to relinquish my crown tonight…and go back to square one tomorrow.

Marilyn – just so you know, my husband hasn’t stopped chortling and snorting and choking with laughter over the very idea that you think I’m floating through the universe on a Zen Cloud. I thought for a moment–right after he read your comment–that I might have to dial 911, he was so convulsed with laughter…. ;-)

Shula – your note really made me laugh! (also in a positive, Zen kind of way….)

It is a fabulous exercise for raising awareness about our own negative *projections*. Also, habitual thoughts are neural pathways and those pathways widened / reinforced through use. By behaving and thinking differently, we’re constructing new neural pathways that will, indeed help us feel better, once we get in the newly created groove. Fun with brain chemistry!

Thoughts don’t count. I mean, yeah, it’d be great to get to that point of noticing the first thought, breathing, then reframing – but it needs to just start with words. Just for today – I will not complain out loud. Or, just for the next hour. Next five minutes? Whatever you need to do.

Start with words – spoken or written. The rest will come. One small shift at a time.

I appreciate the idea behind the ‘complaint’ fast — the need to contain our shared tendencies to be impatient with others or thoughtless in our words or just plain mean for the sake of being mean.

But having said that, there is an element of empowerment in the complaint that should not be discarded as lacking in value. Those of us who do not complain or hesitate about complaining or feel guilty about complaining are often those whose voices are not heard or are not listened to.

Because of my mother’s illness, I have to deal with doctors and nurses and receptionists and pharmasists and therapists and neighbours and others.

Many are wonderful, kind and generous and helpful beyond imagination. They help to make my mother’s journey less awful and frightening. We are grateful and express our gratitude to them each and every time.

Others, however, have been less than wonderful, less than kind, and less than helpful. We at times have remained silent in the face of hostility, cruelty, and indifference, recognizing that everyone has a bad day or, at times in life, simply doesn’t know any better.

But, I have discovered that if I do not complain on those occasions when a complaint is warranted — in a polite ‘please and thank you’ manner — my mother, increasingly voiceless and powerless, suffers as a result.

thankyouthankyouthankyou for speaking so honestly and bravely about what goes on internally. I too tend to be tree hugging granola new ager and because of that, I spend a lot of time beating myself up for the negativity that goes on in my head. You acknowledging it as real and maybe *gasp* normal helps me. Really.

This is a great one. Truthfully, I didn’t even want to accept the challenge because I found it to be too difficult. Sharing your reality makes me want to at least attempt it. With a name like “Joy,”, I do my best to stay positive. Sometimes it’s not always easy. Good luck with your journey!=)

I’m still laughing as I type this comment in response to your stream-of-consciousness-thoughts-in-the-parking-lot-dropping-off-your-kids. What a hoot! And what a marvelous example for those of us who struggle continually to release our “perfectionistic” tendencies and therefore hesitate to take up such a challenge.
Thank you for being YOU. I’m so grateful my friend Kara sent a link to your site a few days back.