J is for jijnasu

Knowing_2 Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. -Carl Sagan

In 2008, I want to be a jijnasu, a seeker of wisdom, an inquirer.

When I was preparing to talk with Billy Collins the other day (doesn’t that sound casual?), Mr Brilliant was holding the paper bag while I hyperventilated, metaphorically speaking, helping me think about what questions I wanted to ask the dear poet of my dreams.

“Ask him what his favorite word is,” he said, excitedly. Mr Brilliant is a great cataloguer of such information.

I blinked at him.

Tess ran by. “Tess!” he shouted as she sped by. “What’s your favorite word?”

“WHY!” she yelled without stopping, making a tiny circular path from living room to family room to dining room and back. Just as Mr Brilliant started to answer her, she shouted again: “WHY IS MY FAVORITE WORD!”

He beamed.

“What a fantastic favorite word,” he murmured, contentedly. “You should tell Billy Collins that ‘why’ is your four-year-old’s favorite word.”

I blinked at him.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll do that right after I pass out when he answers the phone.”

I actually married Mr Brilliant because he was really the only person who asked in detail about the time I sailed around the world, who sat through a slide show and asked questions about life in the ten countries I visited. Well, maybe there were other reasons too, like the way he chopped up that red pepper and onion into tiny, tiny squares the first time he cooked dinner for me in his apartment on Mintwood Place.

But the fact that he is curious was a big part of the attraction. And there were those black cowboy boots, white starched shirts, and black levis, but I digress.

We are so schooled in cool disinterest—I can see the time lapse lifeline from exuberance to cool disinterest in my own household, from four-year-old to fifteen-year-old. As we get older, if we express curiosity and wonder and amazement, does it imply not-knowing? Is it uncool to get excited? Does it make us vulnerable?

We need to be more flat out curious. Sagan was right—something incredible is waiting to be known. But it’s hard in our modern “I’m connected” world. Information arrogance is a pandemic: “I just climbed Mt Everest backwards and barefooted.” “Really? Well Seth Godin mentioned the friend of a friend of a neighbor of my parent’s first grade teacher on his blog. Did you try this hummus?”

Have you ever noticed that people don’t ask questions? Or if they ask one question, there’s no follow-up question? Of if they ask questions, it is for utility’s sake (I need to know this for my job) and not for wisdom’s sake (knowing this won’t get me a pay raise, but will make my live richer or build relationship or change how I see the world or give this person in front of me the chance to tell their story). The Bhagavad Gita tells us that the jijnasu is blessed with the chance to work without expecting the fruit of activity. There is no end but the knowing itself. The knowing is enough—actually, the journey to knowing is enough.

There is a whole world out there, and right beside you. Ask about it.

Intentions: In 2008, I will follow lines of curiosity and inquiry without regard to outcome, not for the sake of “sale-ability,” but simply for the sake of deeper knowing, and for the sake of deeper listening.

From the last alphabet challenge: J is for jump

About Patti Digh

Patti Digh is an author, speaker, and educator who builds learning communities and gets to the heart of difficult topics. Her work over the last three decades has focused on diversity, inclusion, social justice, and living and working mindfully. She has developed diversity strategies and educational programming for major nonprofit and corporate organizations and has been a featured speaker at many national and international conferences.

13 comments to " J is for jijnasu "
  • Susan

    Fantastic essay.

    I know as I’ve gotten older, my curiosity has become shaded with fear. Fear of looking stupid for not knowing, of asking the wrong questions (is there such a thing?), of being the beginner in a room full intermediate/advances, of appearing too nosey…well, on and on. This was a wonderful reminder of the pleasure of curiosity and the connections that grow from it.

  • one of the things I love most about this blog is the wisdom your Tess carries into it.

    She makes me smile big time.

  • Where do you FIND these words?? I can’t even find this one in my (paper) dictionary. “WHY IS MY FAVORITE WORD!” No doubting whose daughter SHE is… ;) “Have you ever noticed that people don’t ask questions?” Yes…starting with that pseudo-cowboy in the Oval Office. Maybe if we get someone in there who is actually curious about the world, we’ll become more curious about each other. Just a thought.

  • Can I rent Tess to be my guru?

  • Your daughter is wise and funny.

    Today I wrote down the word “baffled.” It was my favorite word of the day.

  • Just over the holidays I was actually really painfully aware of how desperate people are to talk about themselves. Any chance and they want to launch into something about themselves. Yet nobody wants to listen. We need to have big FULLY LISTENING parties, focusing on one person at a time until they feel SO COMPLETELY HEARD that they’re able to be interested in others. I love this essay. thank you.

  • Joy K

    Very thought-provoking.

    Today, “truth” is my favorite word. And as you said, it’s all about the journey . . .
    I think I’ll be a truth-seeker for awhile. :)

  • Jane

    I’ve only found your blog recently, but am completely enthralled. Without sounding melodramatic, it is life-changing, helping me focus on the important things.

    This particular piece reminds me of something a women’s literature professor once told me, that “you know you’ve become a grown-up when you find yourself walking along without looking up, without looking around in curiosity.” It was profound at the time, but now I reject that assessment. We must continue to ask questions.

  • I work in an industry where, as a matter of course, people blurt out “How’re you.” They aren’t really asking. It’s just part of the opening act, which leads to the complaints or questions or the meat of the matter for them. Sometimes, I mess with the status quo, by answering before they can launch into the next part of the act, and then asking, in all sincerity, “How are you?”

    I love the word “Why”. It’s a fabulous word.

  • Susan – I think you’ve really hit the nail on the head…fear is at the root of much of our hesitance to be exuberant, I think…

    brandi – she really makes me smile, too!

    Marilyn – curiosity *does* seem lacking in a country that believe it rules the world, doesn’t it?

    Kikipotamus the Hobo – made me laugh! Of course! But she doesn’t come cheap…lots of piggyback rides and bedtime stories…

    Colleen – great word! we should be baffled more often…

    mary-sue – I believe this is why we are a nation prone to therapy…no one else listens to us! I love the idea of listening parties… let’s stop multi-tasking and start listening, not interrupting, but listening. We do an exercise in our training of a three-minute dialogue between 2 people where the person listening cannot speak or ask questions. It seems an eternity for the speaker since they realize they very rarely get to speak for so long without interruption and is awful for the listeners because they so want to interject or ask questions. But when we ask questions, we’re steering the conversation back to us, our story, often. Thanks for the food for thought…

    Joy K – is the truth a boundary or a horizon? perhaps it’s a horizon in that the closer you get to it, the farther it moves away from you…

    Jane – thank you for your kind words – i’m so thrilled you’ve found something of meaning here. Your professor’s statement is so true. Let’s look around more!

    Cat – how often we do that sort of perfunctory conversation, not really meaning the question, not listening for the answer. It becomes really clear when we interrupt the sequence and the other person answers what they are used to being asked rather than what we really asked… what if we asked questions and listened as if we really cared about the answers?

  • In Judaism the most highly regarded Torah study is Torah Lishma, study for it’s own sake.
    Thanks for your thoughtful inspiring writing.

    shalom v’ahava,

    Menachem
    (website not up just yet)

  • Is life all about the process? For me, making things (which is most of my life) is all about the process of making them–not the finished product. Creating something for the sake of creating…

    I pray Tess still find WHY? one of her favorite words when she is an adult….

  • Sally

    Also having a four-year-old daughter, I’ve noticed what great questions she asks, and often ponder the process of and urge to ask questions. I love to hear what is making her ponder.

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