Know Your Directional Pulls
I feel a certain kind of peace. Sure, it might just be the amino acids I am taking after reading The Mood Cure, but I think it is a peace that sometimes comes when things are torn asunder, as our lives have been the past two years because of the COVID pandemic. Where things are stripped away and suddenly you realize how busy you’ve been, how loud the world has been, and just how full your days are.
When we moved to Asheville, NC, from 20+ years of living in Washington, D.C.—not a suburb, but in D.C. itself—we stood on our porch the first morning after getting to our new home, amazed by the quietness and the lack of movement around us. Only an occasional car went by, not the constant stream down Porter Street where we had last lived in D.C.
The silence was so big, it was full. It felt like an object, not an absence.
People are now going back to traveling, working, living life as they did before the pandemic. I haven’t joined that world yet, but my work is getting busier than it has been in two years—and busier than I want it to be.
But I am feeling some kind of peace, like a reorganization of my willingness to be busy with things that—ultimately—just don’t matter. Instead, I can feel a nice picket fence being built around my time again, piece by piece. Saying no is my friend.
When Emma was little, I was offered a dream job, but declined it when the employer couldn’t see their way to letting me leave for an hour every afternoon to walk Emma home from John Eaton Elementary School. That was a boundary for me, and one I kept. Either John or I—or both of us—were present for every school presentation, concert, or meeting, amidst all my international travel.
As I look at my brand new 2023 calendar, I am drawing lines around dates that are sacrosanct, and I am revising my “deciding how to decide” list. When you look at my calendar, I want you to know exactly what I value most. I don’t feel compelled to get too busy again. I don’t feel compelled to fly somewhere every week to work. Instead, I feel compelled to write my next book, attend horse shows, travel with Emma, stand up for social justice, and learn to weave. Those are my directional pulls. With that pronouncement comes a great sense of peace.
What are your directional pulls?
