I will not be quiet. I am intolerant of your intolerance.

Intolerant of intolerance

I am thinking of the singular commitment of the North Carolina General Assembly to being pioneers in bigotry and hatred, willful unknowing, and discrimination because of ignorance and fear.

It hurts me, deeply, to know that my lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex friends face this kind of reality daily, not only in North Carolina. Just as racism and sexism hurt. Every -ism.

And I’m tired of getting hateful notes when I advocate for gay marriage and other rights for my friends who are as deeply, fully human as I am.

I’m not going to be polite about this issue by acknowledging that you have a right to believe the awful, hateful things you believe–you may believe them but I don’t in any way have to collude with them by ignoring them, being polite about them, making peace about them.

This is hate, pure and simple. Call it what it is.

You can hide behind religion if you want, but no religion I want any part of is based on hate. If you disparage my gay friends, I’m not going to be silent about it, I’m not going to apologize for my point of view, I’m not going to take the HRC sticker off my car, and I’m not going to say “let’s all just get along.” No.

You are wrong.

You are as wrong as people who insisted that black Americans drink from a different water fountain.

You are as wrong as school districts that let black schools use old textbooks of white students, but handed out sandpaper at the end of the year so the little black kids could sandpaper their germs off of them. Imagine the lesson those kids learned as a result of that hateful action.

No, I won’t participate in that wrong and I won’t be quiet about it.

Nor do I care if you buy my books if you feel this way, so stop threatening to boycott me. I don’t care. If I care about that, I am truly lost.

What I do care about is that my LGBTQI friends have families that they love.

They have babies they adore.

They live lives of great meaning and joy and commitment.

They do mundane things like wash the dishes and get into arguments over housework and forget to put the milk in the fridge, like straight people.

Just like people with disabilities and just like white people and black people and every other color of people.

Just like Jews and Christians and Muslims.

What on earth do you fear?

Don’t write to me and discount the experiences of other people.

Don’t write to me and threaten to stop buying my books.

Don’t write to me and argue with me about this.

It is non-negotiable.

I am intolerant of your intolerance.

About Patti Digh

Patti Digh is an author, speaker, and educator who builds learning communities and gets to the heart of difficult topics. Her work over the last three decades has focused on diversity, inclusion, social justice, and living and working mindfully. She has developed diversity strategies and educational programming for major nonprofit and corporate organizations and has been a featured speaker at many national and international conferences.

24 comments to " I will not be quiet. I am intolerant of your intolerance. "
  • I will stand with you. I will support you. I believe in you.

  • Kira

    I love you. I love your words. I love your courage, your message, your straightforwardness.

  • Gail Livingston

    Brava, Patti! This is an awesome and courageous statement. I stand with you.

  • Carrie

    I couldn’t agree more! Thank you.

  • Robin Sanchez

    I stand with you!

  • Tracy Coon

    I stand with you too!

  • Laura Healy

    Yes!

  • Erin Davis

    YES! I’m with you, and facing opposition as well. It’s worth it to advocate for those whose rights are still being violated and witheld!

  • Thank you for this. The fear-swell surge of hate is powerful but the love-swell surge is stronger. Love over hate every day, in every way.
    Your message is a ‘something good’ in my day.
    Enjoy the day!
    xo Erin

  • Exactly. “What on earth do you fear?” That is the heart of the matter. How can we get people to not be so fearful is the gazillion-dollar question.

  • Linda

    Standing with you.

  • Thank you! I agree with you 100%. You are awesome!

  • […] http://www.37days.com/i-will-not-be-quiet-i-am-intolerant-of-your-intolerance/#comment-12264 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hate discrimination of any kind, and I use the word hate lightly. The recent events in NC have me upset and worried for those I care about/call family. There is no need to discriminate anyone. Patti Digh is correct, what do you really fear?! Because the haters are the problem, they are focusing their inner fears on others. […]

  • Lisa Robinson

    Patti,

    Thank you so much for your courage to say what must be voiced. Silence may not mean agreement, but it also doesn’t help to get us moving in a direction of positive change. By standing up for what is good and right, you don’t make anyone guess about your beliefs. Thank you!

  • Colleen

    Said so well, as usual. I with YOU!

  • Joanne

    I was saying the same thing to my husband this morning. I’m grateful that the governor of my state, GA, has announced today that he will veto Georgia’s “Religious Liberty” bill. Hate is ugly, no matter how you color it.

  • Paula H.

    Well saidPatti and it should be said loud and clear. Haters are going to hate because there is something essential missing from their lives. It seems they cannot let anything go by without smearing their vitriole all overtime. Certainly not following the WWJD way of living. And if they read your books, they probably don’t get it anyway.

  • Stephanie Marks-Ryan

    Thanks for this, Patti. Well said, as always!

  • Simply and fiercely, yes.
    Thank you.
    I love you, Patti.

  • Sharon Martinelli

    Oh Yes! I most assuredly stand with you on this. And, we all need to start being loud about our intolerance lest the haters win the rights to silence us and push our friends and families into the closets from which they have so courageously fled. The haters can no longer openly discriminate against people of color, so they now go against any faith that is different than theirs. It isn’t proper to discriminate against women, so they go against the LGBTQI communities claiming that their religion and safety is being threatened. All of this while wielding their numerous guns. I am so tired of the hate mongering and the fear mongering and I just love you even more for standing up and shouting loudly that we must stop being silent. Thank you.

  • Annie Sisk

    My daughter – my sixteen year old, beautiful, funny, bright, bisexual daughter – asked me the morning this hateful law was passed “Why do they hate us so much?” No parent should ever have to hear their child ask such a thing. I told her I didn’t know – that I suspected the motivations of at least some weren’t hate but cowardice and ignorance – that it didn’t matter one whit what their motivation was when their actions were so hateful – that she and I both had more friends than we know about – that there were more people who loved her and all her LGBTQ friends than there were haters – and that none of us – especially not her mama – would ever stop fighting for her. Right on, Patti, for speaking your piece. I stand with you.

  • Denise Romesburg

    Hell yes!

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