book stack tuesday : does this spark joy?
We moved into our new old house 15 months ago. What preceded that move was The Great Shedding of Many Things that I do not miss at all.
A set of grandma’s china. A tea set I lugged back on the plane from Austria at age 19. Carvings, jewelry, scarves, furniture–all gone, but the memories remain. And still, we have a house full, now in smaller digs.
The winter brings with it a heaviness for me, and my own heaviness brings its own weight to it. So this weekend, I read Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese art of Decluttering and Organizing. A sucker for anything Japanese because I so love the aesthetic of Japan, I dove in. And I loved it.
As the NY Times reported, “Ms. Kondo’s decluttering theories are unique, and can be reduced to two basic tenets: Discard everything that does not ‘spark joy,’ after thanking the objects that are getting the heave-ho for their service; and do not buy organizing equipment — your home already has all the storage you need…. Obsessive, gently self-mocking and tender toward the life cycle of, say, a pair of socks, Ms. Kondo delivers her tidy manifesto like a kind of Zen nanny, both hortatory and animistic.”
This anthropomorphism and nondualism appeal to me greatly. The fact that I must be nice to my socks because everything is inextricably connected and alive reminds me of my friend Rosemary washing lettuce for a salad and caressing each leaf dry afterward. There is a beauty to it that I adore.
“People cannot change their habits without first changing their way of thinking,” the author says. And this I know to be true. These are not skill-sets but mind-sets that need to change: from “I MIGHT NEED THAT SOMETIME” to “I have what I need.” From “BUT I PAID A LOT FOR THAT” to “I thank you for your service and pass you along to others.”
She asks us to look more closely at what is there.
So, as she suggested, I took everything out of my closet and asked this question as I held each item up individually: “Does this spark joy?” If yes, I kept it. If not, I donated it.
There were the requisite fat clothes, clothes I bought in a panic before a speech because I had nothing that fit. There were clothes that needed fixing and would never be fixed. There were 25 year old clothes that had seen their peak some time before. There were expensive things I never wore because they were itchy.
Does this spark joy? No, no, no, no.
Simple. And truthfully, a brilliant question. Not, “does this fit?” or “does this make me look thinner?” or “did I pay a lot for this?” but “does this spark joy?”
That is a beautiful way to determine what stays. “Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard all the rest,” she tells us.
And so I did. My clothes are done. I already feel lighter. I’ve already learned a lot about myself in just that exercise. Books are next, following her rule that we declutter in categories. Even as much as we have already discarded, there is more to do. The author tells me I need to “reduce until you reach the point where something clicks.” I’m not there yet.
She tells us to believe what our heart tells us when we ask, “Does this spark joy?” I think this is useful advice for far more than our closets or homes.
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie KondoResources
Another book I’ve found so helpful on this topic is Lauren Rosenfeld’s, Breathing Room: Open Your Heart by Decluttering Your Home. Watch my conversation with Lauren for some fantastic information on decluttering.
