I lost my mom this past summer. She was (and remains) my greatest inspiration–my hero. I grieve her loss as well as my father’s physical and mental challenges, which make closeness between us difficult, in spite of the care he needs (which my mother once provided). They were together for 60+ years.

I’ll add that I hope to see you tonight, Patti. Ironically, we are driving in from Asheville and can’t leave until Bill finishes work, so we will likely be squeaking in at the last moment. But I am very much looking forward to seeing/hearing you and to your book, which seems perfectly timed for me.

My mom died an angry woman, of Alzheimer’s. My much older brothers knew her differently. It was a wide gap between the woman who raised them and the one who raised me. I mourn the mother I never knew rather than the one I had.

My mother died 19 years ago and I still miss her everyday. Her 80th birthday would be next week. I love her and the memories I have of her. She’s been the strong woman example in my life.

Wish I could be there! I grieve the loss and the losing of my mom. It’s a long goodbye, this Alzheimer’s journey.

Grieving can be a long process which perhaps some people in one’s life want to hurry it so that they don’t have to endure seeing the person going through it. It took me years for me to go through the process when my mother died. In those days, no one in my family ever thought of receiving help. But when my husband died, my doctor urged me to see a counselor. I won’t say that it hastens the grieving, but I did find solace in talking about my emotions to somone who did not judge me. Also my sister-in-law gave me a book which used a journaling method to help me bring to the surface all the emotions and thoughts that raged through me.

I also mourn a mother I did not have, a protector I could only dream of, the trust that did not come naturally. Learning how to love myself has become one great gift. Acceptance and letting go two huge life lessons

Sometimes, I grieve for childhood, when everyone I loved lived and the world overflowed with paths to explore–and I was small enough and Daddy strong enough to carry me. Other times, I grieve for young adulthood, when all of life’s options sat before me, unchosen and unblemished, back when I never realized that my parents could *ever* be old enough to plan for dying or that I’d lift a spoon to my father-in-law’s mouth because he lacked the strength, or that I would (earnestly!) buy “anti-aging” potions. And lately, finally, I have begun to grieve that sometimes I long for past seasons instead of embracing the current moment with joy and meaning and usefulness. When I reminisce too long for what’s gone instead of tending to the present, that is my worst grievance of all. xo

I grieve for myself. I feel selfish even saying it. I grieve for the things I missed out on because I didn’t think they were meant for me, available to me, allowed for me. I believed the world understood that “people like me”, bad, ugly people, are not eligible to be loved, to be married, to have children. It’s not so much whether I would have done any of those things, but that I wasn’t worthy. It’s only been in the last few years that I realized that my view of myself was determined in the mind of a little girl about 4-1/2 to 5 years old.

I used to grieve for missed opportunities. I now understand that if I missed them, they probably weren’t my opportunities in the first place. Now I find I grieve for those closest to me whose lives I feel are cut short (the times I won’t get to spend with them going forward).

Orphaned adult…a term I didn’t know existed until I lost my parents 8 months apart. While trying to wrap my head around this new station in life, my significant other of 30 years, took his own life. No warning, no good-by, he just up and left. Grief for my parents comes in unexpected waves of sadness, grief for my significant other comes in gale force winds anger.

I grieved for my husband who died of Alzheimers but after a long and full life. I’ve grieved for friends and for myself that I’ve lost them. But the grief I’ve never been able to work through is for my youngest son who committed suicide.

I grieve the child lost.

this sounds like a wonderful book! no matter where we are in life, we are all grieving something … for the life that we live now came about because of something or someone we had to let go of in the past … I grieve for the loss of my husband – he passed in an avalanche almost 4 years ago … I grieve for the person I was before he passed … I grieve for him not being here to witness our sons growing up … I grieve for my children who will never fully know the man I fell in love with … I grieve for what my boys are not learning from their father … I grieve for the life we had and the family we once were … but I know that without this grief there cannot be a future … grief is a process …

I grieve the loss of my life (and career) as it was in my communtiy in Spokane and for my father, who I believe is my angel. I also grieve for other peoples loss that are big and small daily. I wear my heart on my shoulder that way and I sure wish that I didn’t.

Grieving for the life I had visioned & have lost on several levels, for the pet I recently lost, for my younger body that didn’t ache, for the pain of others & the shape of the world today. Amen.

I grieve for time lost with my mother who passed away from breast cancer 35 years ago. At the time I was 21 yrs old and thought I was all grown up. Of course I was very sad to lose her but I had no idea of how much I’d miss her over the years as I became an adult and wanted so much to have a friendship with her. Having my own daughter brought that to light so much for me. Not only did my daughter miss having the most wonderful grandma in the world, I missed having my mom as a friend to give me advice, to laugh with, to cry with and to share with. Then 2 yrs ago I lost a best friend to breast cancer also. I miss her terribly. She left behind a daughter who is the same age I was when my mom died. I can never replace my friend in her daughter’s life but knowing how I miss my mom, I will be there for her always…for my friend, for my mom.

I grieve the questions I didn’t think to ask and the answers I’ll never know. From my mother, my father and my dear best friend of 40 years. I grieve the laughter that is now silent.

I will always grieve my dad’s sudden death and the most painful part is that he never had the chance to meet my husband and our kids. They would have LOVED him!!

I grieve for losing a mother far too soon. She was only 48 and never got to meet any of her grandchildren. They would have loved her smiling, blue Irish eyes and their incredible twinkle.

I grief for the unconditional love, direction, comfort, affection, laughter, possibilities lost with my mothet’s death. I grieve the sure-footed feeling I had when she was here. I grieve the loss of identify that now must be rebuilt.

I am fortunate to not grieve right now.

Loss is a journey and sometimes along the way we find opportunity. Were it not for loss of a life long dream, I would never have gained the relationship of the Patti Digh Community. I would never have found my true self.

I grieve the innocence that is within all of us. The time before we were talk to conform to social norm. The time when our innocence allowed us to truly be who we are without judgment, expectations, or definition….the time before I knew of judgment, hatred, prejudiced.and favoritism. I grieve the time when I only saw a person as a person and never saw the color of the skin, for their actions, or their social status…

I grieve the time flying, parents lost too soon, my aging mom, my aging body. I see the circle of life clearly now as I come closer to the upper tier.

So wish I could be at the launch. I haven’t grieved a lot of the things I needed to, huge build-up of sadness under a happy surface. I think what I most need to grieve is my child self who had to grow up quick and never got to just be and play.

I grieve still for my 4 legged friends and for my father and mother – may they all find peace outside of this earthy life <3

I grieve the loss, the end of my eight year relationship with a man I loved with all my heart and with whom I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life. I didn’t see it/ feel it coming at all. Life goes on, I find joy in each day and am grateful for my family and my friends. I am open to love again, but at 61, sometimes it seems the odds are not in my favor, but I don’t hold onto that thought for too long.

My parents led a small life, never taking risks, not traveling to new places. When I left home I took every opportunity to see and experience whatever came my way. When I traveled, they asked me to call home when I arrived at my destination so they would know I was safe. I resented having to check in, to waste time making those calls. Now, when I sometimes have an overwhelming desire to talk to them, I have no one to call.

I grieve the loss of my mother who died last year.

I grieve for the woman and mother I could have been had I only known it was possible to be myself- unjudged and unruled by others expectations.

Hi everyone! The randomly chosen winners of a signed copy of “The Geography of Loss” are Jill Sargent, Corey Kopetz Gafnea, and Janet Min Barclay. Many thanks to everyone who shared. If Jill, Corey, and Janet can email their mailing address to me at patti@pattidigh.com, I’ll get those books in the mail right away!

I just read the winners…however if at all possible find another book for Diane west. She deserves so much