your daily rock : help me understand

March 27, 2013 in Daily Rock, General

“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” -Abraham Lincoln

There are so many things we don’t know. Is it possible to walk toward those things with a curiosity rather than a condemnation? Is it possible to walk toward them with a sense of wonder rather than fleeing in the opposite direction?

I’ve found this phrase to be the best way to explore with curiosity: “Help me understand…” Not “how could you” or “why do you?” or “why don’t you?” but “help me understand…” It opens up a dialogue rather than shut it down.

Help me understand the significance of your wearing a (turban, kilt, cross, other article of clothing). What does that mean to you?

Help me understand your beliefs about marriage equality, about end of life issues, about…

Help me understand…

So much of the time we avoid difference or judge it rather than explore it, because we’ve confused noticing difference with making a judgment. What if we could be respectfully childlike instead: Help me understand.

Start a conversation with “Help me understand…” today.

Love,

(These beautifully painted rocks are created by Kim Mailhot, aka The Rock Fairy.

About Patti Digh

Patti Digh is an author, speaker, and educator who builds learning communities and gets to the heart of difficult topics. Her work over the last three decades has focused on diversity, inclusion, social justice, and living and working mindfully. She has developed diversity strategies and educational programming for major nonprofit and corporate organizations and has been a featured speaker at many national and international conferences.