were they stunned?

November 30, 2012 in General

The latest class of VerbTribe just ended. This week, I will feature on 37days the writing of VerbTribe members in this most recent class. These excerpts are in response to daily prompts the class provides, and I hope you will appreciate the voices of these writers. If you’re interested in becoming a VerbTribe member, go here for more information on the next class that begins January 3, 2013.

Were They Stunned?

– Cindy Lorentson Cook

How did I get here in the midst of these women

While they pray

Holding hands in a circle,

Spontaneous, aloud, each contributing?

It comes unforeseen, so sudden, no graceful way to exit

Someone mentions an ailment, a sorrow, a hardship,

And I am again in the prayer circle, expected to hold hands.

I admire the simple beauty and dignity of their heart-sharing,

Their sincere fervent prayers to heal, to console, one of us or our loved ones.

My difficulty is not with their heartbeats, their feelings pulsing through my hands,

their wishes, their hopes, their extending of care.

My difficulty lies with the vehicle they choose

The beginning: God our Father, who watches over us…

The closing: We pray in Jesus’ name, the Light of the world, the one True way…

I can’t work past those words, and so I am silent.

Is my presence enough, although I do not participate?

I wonder if they wonder why I say nothing

that awkward moment when everyone has contributed

Save me. I remain silent.

How do I convey my caring? Are my hugs and few words before & after enough?

I do not want to offend them, nor myself.

How to do this? I cannot edit their words, nor change their vehicle.

I hope to speak. Where are the words?

Surely they exist somewhere

The words I need to fit their prayer.

Were they stunned? These women whom I spent so much time with,

who had become my friends, who no doubt thought they knew me,

for years we shared our joys, worries, bits of everyday lives

I’d run in after work, from a hectic life full of demands & people,

my involvement with them heart-pounding, pulse-raising exercise

gradually grown into a bond, a sisterhood

These wonderful warm caring ladies, embracing their church, their community, their Jesus,

who pulled me into their circles, holding my hand, praying for our families & loved ones

and assumed I was one with them

Now they had become my friends, time they knew, time I confessed

So now at our Christmas party white elephant exchange,

as I declined the nativity scene to opt for something else,

I took a risk, gave up being incognito, saying “I’m not Christian, you see…”

(image from here)

Patti Digh is an author, speaker, and educator who builds learning communities and gets to the heart of difficult topics. Her work over the last three decades has focused on diversity, inclusion, social justice, and living and working mindfully. She has developed diversity strategies and educational programming for major nonprofit and corporate organizations and has been a featured speaker at many national and international conferences.

1 comment to " were they stunned? "


jylene

December 22, 2012 AT 1:34PM

I can SO relate to this type of situation. most of the time I feel totally in the minority, at work and in the groups I am involved with. and I just keep quiet, not telling anyone that I do not believe in organized religion. that their certainty of being right makes me uncomfortable because I don’t believe that they are right. I feel that if I opened my mouth and said what I really think, they would be shocked. good for you, for being brave enough to speak your truth!