start small, but start.

A Facebook friend, Heidi Nord, posted this status a few days ago:

“Some things I’ve done to change my life:

1. Got rid of my TV 5.5 years ago.
2. Quit a job I didn’t like.
3. Stopped overeating.
4. Did things to make me intensely happy.
5. Wrote a gratitude list, daily.
6. Bikram yoga.
7. Learned how to sleep easily through the night.
8. Taught myself to love the weather, no matter what it was, rain, heat, not to resist it.
9. Smiled often.
10. Started taking care of myself.
11. Meditated.

The more I change my inner world, the more my outer world reflects what is inside. Everything I do is for my health, happiness and desire of enlightenment. The list continues…”

I was inspired by Heidi’s list. What a fantastic expression of self-care, over time. A practice of self-care. That’s what this is. Over time. Not just for one day, but over time. That’s what makes it a “practice.” As choreographer Martha Graham has said so beautifully: “Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired.”

Over and over again in the face of all obstacles.

Some act of vision.

Of faith.

Of desire.

What’s your list? What would you like to have on that list of inner changes in a year’s time? What’s the first thing you can commit to practicing? What’s something you can do or change today? Not tomorrow, but today. Over and over again in the face of all obstacles.

Leave a comment below to share ideas about a change you can make right now that will rock your life over time.

Start small, but start.

Love,


P.S. To better understand it myself, I’m documenting Tess’ Asperger’s  journey here on 37days and also on 3x3x365, my blog with two amazing friends. Regardless of your journey, perhaps you will find something in her story to support you. For instance, this week we told her that she has Autism. Here’s how that went.

(photo of Martha Graham from here)

About Patti Digh

Patti Digh is an author, speaker, and educator who builds learning communities and gets to the heart of difficult topics. Her work over the last three decades has focused on diversity, inclusion, social justice, and living and working mindfully. She has developed diversity strategies and educational programming for major nonprofit and corporate organizations and has been a featured speaker at many national and international conferences.

21 comments to " start small, but start. "
  • I love this! I struggle because I as soon as I begin something I want to achieve it. I need the reminder of “start small”. Happily, I started running again today. It’s been almost a year! I feel GREAT! And thanks for sharing Tess’s journey. She inspires me!

  • Julia

    Love, love, love this! 
    Some things I’ve done to change my life.
    1. Got rid of my TV in 1990. (This actually transformed my life and changed to course of my childrens lives.)
    2. Left an unhealthy marriage.
    3. Finished my college degree at 47.
    4. Joined a womens writing circle.
    5. Sold everything I had and moved to somewhere I loved

    Things I am doing now to change my life
    1. Went to a financial planner and got the ‘reality’ of my financial future. Then paid $250 to have him create a plan to accomplish a secure retirement. (Best $250 I’ve spent in years)
    2. Stopped eating processed foods.
    3. Started drinking vegetable smoothies.
    4. Decluttered my house room by room. Limiting my possessions to being within three categories 
        1.) Functional 2.) Beautiful 3.) Sentimental
    5. Gave myself permission to change my mind on social engagements if my energy was depleted. 
    6. Do something I love every day (art, cook, read, walk in nature)
     

  • Edie

    I have wondered my whole life what it is to know what you want, what makes you happy, what your purpose is, to know what you need to change to get to where you’re going but never,ever having any idea what the path was… those big inner things. And still I have no idea. I’ve therapized, meditated, listed, pondered and wonder/wandered in the maze that is my mind. And still, I wish I knew.

    • Edie, I used to feel this way, partly because no one thing stood out for me as a big passion. After digging deep over the past year, I finally feel like I’m moving in the right direction. I’m currently reading Martha Beck’s latest book “Finding Your Way …” and learning even more methods for listening deeply to my heart. I wish you the best in your journey!

    • TomZ

       I understand completely. I still don’t know, and I’m over 60. Love your phrase “the maze that is my mind.

  • I love that list and there are a half dozen things on it that I am working to implement, too. I find it so astonishing how easy it is for me to other-care and how difficult it is to self-care. I’d love to give myself at least half of what I extend, you know? I expect if I did, I’d have way more to give. 

  • On my short list: I’ve started meditating, listening to & trusting my heart, respecting my creativity and honoring my spark-of-a-dream to help others discover & live their heart’s true paths. Starting small is a great way to begin, and I’ve been trying to take one small step toward my goal at least a few times a week. You, Patti, are inspirational. And really, your book Life Is a Verb truly started me in the direction of my heart’s true path. Thank you!

  • I keep starting, maybe this time I will get off the starters’ block.  wonderful list!

  • Amanda

    Love, love, love

  • right now, I’m more about your P.S. than the main topic.  for me, the main topic IS Tess.  when I told my granddaughter, who is a big fan of yours, Patti, that Tess was recently diagnosed with autism / Asperger’s, she immediately said “Oma, your friend has to see the movie Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”.   (Kaia is just about to turn 13; she knows I have a heart for the children with autism that I worked with at CCI – Canine Companions for Independence — http://www.cci.org  here is a link to the movie …
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0477302/
    and here is a link to an article about some of the reviews the movie received: 
    http://www.childmind.org/en/posts/articles/2012-2-7-extremely-loud-incredibly-close-autism

    And if you haven’t yet seen the movie TEMPLE GRANDIN … do.  

    I’m sure you have a gazillion resources, Patti, to help you and Mr. Brilliant and Emma and Tess navigate the waters of autism, but just had to share these, in case you didn’t know of them yet.

    Oh, and a CCI dog – can be an amazing companion to children – and adults – with many types of autism.  

    If these suggestions can help anyone who knows and loves you and your work, Patti, then I’ll be glad to have posted this comment.

    xoxo — Davielle (Davi) in Encinitas

  • RoxanneGalpin

    This is wonderful. It is indeed so true that one’s outer world reflect changes made to one’s inner world. This is perhaps worthy of a blog post.

  • Agpenson

    LOVE this !!
    Today .. I will start creating ART .. on a daily basis ! ” NO EXCUSES !  creative Abstract Art expression… is my LIFE ” agp

  • bronwyn_simons

    Last fall I had the honour of living intimately with my father-in-law for two months as his journey with cancer took him from home to hospital to hospice and finally beyond. Patti I know you can understand that this was a life-altering journey for me. Witnessing the grace and courage with which he faced down this ultimate transformation was absolutely humbling. In the aftermath of his death, my own reasons for not stepping up and making the needed transformations in my life started to seem very, very thin. I thought – ultimately we will all need the grace and courage to face the transformation of death, and how can I learn this grace and courage if I am not stepping up now to change what needs to change? On the day after Christmas I sat down and made a list ‘2012-12 months, 12 transformations.’ I keep that list in my planner and refer to it daily.
    SO far this year I have:
    *lost 30 pounds 
    *learned to manage my stress without turning to red wine first
    *learned to prioritize self care, and this means everything from not procrastinating on medical tests to making sure I get a monthly pedi.
    *learned to eat in a way that truly supports my well-being
    *made time for nature (almost) every day
    *made time for creativity (almost) every day.
    *made regular (4x week) cardio and weights a habit
    And am beginning to implement more transformations:
    *I am learning not to be a sponge for other people’s ‘stuff’
    *I am recommitting to a daily meditation practice
    *I am cultivating a new relationship to money
    The momentum of positive change is beautiful. All these things have been on my list for YEARS and I have tried so many times! I am so grateful to Joe for giving me the courage to be tenacious and make these changes stick. I am not the same person I was 7 months ago, I have so much more to give, I amaze myself, and I am in deep gratitude.
    Thanks Patti for creating the space where it’s OK to have such a **long and personal** share. xo

  • OceanPrincess

    I made my Real List (a daily To Be list rather than a To Do list) two weeks ago.  It has made me more aware (and awake!) of what’s most important in my life.  Here’s the link to it
    http://orgasmsandcoffee.com/post/26951828996/make-the-list-that-matters-most 

  • Robinvk

    My big struggle is worry . My list includes
    1. Worry less
    2. Trust the universe more than I worry.
    3. Know … Really know that things will be ok.
    4. Believe that I am ok ( I risk entering the Stuart smalley, good enough, smart enough and doggone it, people like me territory, but there is no other way to say it)
    5. Laugh more
    6. Do more art and creativity.
    7. Cook like I mean it.
    8. Tell every one I love that I love them.
    9. Be open
    10. Be free

  • Wonderful insight and a pleasure to see someone take charge of and create a life well-lived. It takes courage to make change, true courage – not the stuff of comic book super heroes. Find the courage, take the risk, make positive changes and find the perfect moment every day.   See also Goldmind: Secret Treasures of a Masterful Life @ Smashwords.com.

  • Melissa

    Finally, after years of grudges, irritations and despair that the basement renovation isn’t finsihed and my office is a mess, I set in again yesterday:  in each space, I will try to make 1 thing a little better every day.  Yesterday  I plastered around 4 steps and cleared my desk.  Who knows what today may bring?

  • Gwynethavalon

    WOW! About 6 years ago, I started a major change in my life that was wonderful, productive, invigorating. I grew and changed lots of things in my life.  Today I am feeling stuck again …. wanting to run away …. knowing that wont help.  Feeling like I should really end a relationship thats been going on for 5 years, and not having the guts to do it.  I need to make a new list and work on me again!  I find myself falling into the insecure big girl syndrome again.  I look forward to making and renewing me. Thank you!

  • Great post!

    I have a really bad habit of keeping my laptop

  • This is delish. I’m totally klepping it as a prompt for my writer babes next month. (but it’s not really klepping if you tell that you’re doing it and you give credit, right?) ;)

    So glad to hear how the telling went with Tess.  (hugs)

  • melissa

    thank you for your wholehearted and honest sharing. it is like a shower of inspiration (to like more freely and courageously) and solace (for my wounded and passion-soaked soul). love to you and your beautiful family. my simple self-care practice list… http://goo.gl/zUzqX

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