simple saturday. elementary kindness.

October 31, 2009 in Uncategorized

"What I want is so simple I almost can't say it: elementary kindness." -Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

We have opportunities for kindness every day. Every single day. A moment's hesitation to let a car enter the flow of traffic in front of us. An offer to carry a burden for someone – across the street or through life with them.

Sometimes kindness takes placing the focus of our intention on someone outside ourselves.

Sometimes kindness takes slowing down. Noticing someone seems lost or scared and asking if they need help. Letting someone with two items go ahead of us in the grocery line. Sending a note to someone we haven't talked to in a while. Just showing up for someone. Breaking stride.

Elementary kindness.

En route to Newark this week via Atlanta (because evidently I believe going north requires going south first for good luck), I sat on a tiny plane beside a woman named Dorothy. She was thin and elderly and eager to talk once I asked where she was going. We talked the whole way to Atlanta – about L.A. where she lives, about Asheville where she had visited her son for a week, about life and love and work and much more. I waited with her on the plane until her wheelchair came, chatting, and then we parted.

I got an email from someone this morning whose name I didn't recognize: "You recently sat next to my mother on a flight from Asheville to Atlanta as she was returning home after visiting my wife and I. She called today to request that I get her a copy of your book as a present for her 87th birthday. I was wondering if it would be possible to obtain an autographed copy. I know she was very happy to talk with you and personalizing the book would make it all the more special. If you won't be available for this request (her birthday is Nov. 17th) I can always check at Malaprops. Thanks for being so nice to my mother."

His note made me cry. I love that she asked for my book for her 87th birthday. I love that a simple conversation brought the two of us so much.

The webs of kindness can change this world, I believe. If not the world, it can certainly change people one by one. As Seneca wrote, wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.

Be kinder than absolutely necessary. It's sometimes very, very simple.

(Being kind to ourselves is also important)

What can you do today to be kind to someone else? To yourself?

About Patti Digh

Patti Digh is an author, speaker, and educator who builds learning communities and gets to the heart of difficult topics. Her work over the last three decades has focused on diversity, inclusion, social justice, and living and working mindfully. She has developed diversity strategies and educational programming for major nonprofit and corporate organizations and has been a featured speaker at many national and international conferences.

7 comments to " simple saturday. elementary kindness. "


jylene

October 31, 2009 AT 2:40PM

this inspired me to look up this quote:
We never touch people so lightly that we do not leave a trace. -Peggy Tabor Millin

you are one of the kindest, most generous people i know. you give of yourself to everyone you meet. you are such an inspiration to me in so many ways.

Rebecca in VT

October 31, 2009 AT 3:54PM

Dear Patti,
Only a few weeks ago I discovered your blog. I find it so inspiring and agree with the previous post that you are so kind and generous. I also just bought your book. I have always placed a high premium on kindness and believe it or not there are times when I begin to second guess myself as in perhaps it’s just not a useful virtue to cultivate in this world. Certainly there are those who view it as a weakness. Your post brought tears to my eyes and reminded me that kindness is indeed a strength and a much needed virtue in our world. Thank you so much.

Marianne

November 1, 2009 AT 1:06AM

I love that story. Kindess is always a good choice. Today I woke up feeling a bit blue, mostly because I want to be a mother and it’s not really working out. I was tempted to cancel the commitment I had made, which was to go over and do a few hours gardening for a friend with a young baby. Instead I got on the bus, travelled the hour to her house, greeted her with a kiss, had a big cuddle with her adorable wee babe and then gardened for four hours straight – knowing that some days doing a kindness for someone else is also doing ourselves a favour.

Barbara Israel

November 1, 2009 AT 7:00AM

Dear Patti,

I am like the previous “commenter” as your post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing the story about meeting the lady on the plane and talking with her. I think if we are open and do our part we can have those kind of “divine appointments” every day. Every person has worth and needs kindness in their life.

I work in a school and try to talk with different children every day there to get to know them better. They have so much to keep track of. Some come from divorced households and stay with one parent one night and another parent another night so they have to remember to take the right “stuff” to each parent’s home or they will be missing something at school the next day. It makes my head spin thinking about it. Anyway I purpose to be an adult that the children can trust and feel safe with. I love talking with them each day. It just takes a little time to reach out to someone but that short conversation may make that person’s otherwise ordinary day into something memorable.

Thanks for all you do Patti to encourage kindness in the world!

Vera

November 1, 2009 AT 8:33AM

This is lovely, but whatever happened to writing Fridays?

Kim Mailhot

November 1, 2009 AT 11:23AM

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless.” – Mother Teresa

Love listening to those echoes…
And making some of my own !
Much love to you, sweet Writer-Lady !

Teri and the cats of Furrydance

November 2, 2009 AT 10:11AM

I got goosebumps reading this, like I often do when emotionally charged. This should be easy and I will take it to heart, especially at work, where I am having some issues at the moment with those I work with.

I often do the little things–taking back a shopping cart, letting people ahead in line, giving directions etc. But I get impatient with those I work with, if they don’t perform “up to my standards”. I need to work on that impatience and replace it with kindness.