Day 8 :: Chant your fall list daily

August 26, 2008 in Life is a Verb

Some time ago I had one of those dreams that sticks around–I was driving up a mountain road and felt the back tires of the car slide, first off of the asphalt, and then off of the ground on a particularly steep and tricky curve. At first, I thought: this could be all right. And then I realized the car was falling, free and fast. I would not survive the landing.

I held my hands on the steering wheel and watched the sky go by for just a moment. Then my litany began:

I love you, Bruni (she’s my life-partner)
I love you, Mom
I love you, Cathey, Becky, Nick (my siblings)
I love you, Bruni
I love you, Waller
I love you, Susan
I love you, Bruni
I love you Bruni
I love you Bruni

…everyone I loved was spoken of, and always this circling back to this one with whom I share my life, who has coached and cheered and otherwise supported me in this year of living without income and trying to figure out just who the hell I am and want to be, the one to whom I promised "until death do us part" even though that isn’t legal yet.

As I chanted, falling, I realized: loving people is the only thing that I could do there, in that car. And it’s the only thing I’d ever done of any consequence.

So: If I had 37 days, I’d try to spend them loving. Perhaps more loudly, more fiercely, more unmistakably than usual. The question of my 37 mornings would be: how can I best love the ones I love today?

Come to think of it, that’s not such a bad way to wake up on any given morning.

-Melissa Capers

Who is on your "fall list"? That narrow window of time when you can say a prayer to the universe, when you can say goodbye, when you can say "I love you" as you fall? Who is on your list? Let’s say you have 10 seconds to fall. Who is there? Whose names are you chanting?

These are your human survival units.

Paradoxically, these are the people who often fall off our to-do lists.

Go to them. Hold them up. Catch them when they are falling. Put them at the top of your to-do list. Don’t chant your fall list just when you’re falling, but every morning before your foot hits the floor.

For Melissa, a signed copy of Life is a Verb is coming to Northern Virginia (just confirmed a book signing there in Reston, VA–would love to meet you!). If you’d like to answer the question, "What would I be doing today if I only had 37 days to live?" send your answer to me via email with a photo and your mailing address. If yours is posted before September 2nd, the official publication date of Life is a Verb, I’ll send you a signed copy of the book!

About Patti Digh

Patti Digh is an author, speaker, and educator who builds learning communities and gets to the heart of difficult topics. Her work over the last three decades has focused on diversity, inclusion, social justice, and living and working mindfully. She has developed diversity strategies and educational programming for major nonprofit and corporate organizations and has been a featured speaker at many national and international conferences.

1 comment to " Day 8 :: Chant your fall list daily "


Stacey

August 26, 2008 AT 11:54AM

So weird—I had a very similar dream a few months ago. I wrote a small post about it (I cannot link properly–but I will try).

http://bodhibaby.blogspot.com/2008/04/dream-what-do-they-mean.html

I was in the car with my husband though—and there was some arguing before we slipped off the cliff. The conclusion was the same though: “I realized: loving people is the only thing that I could do there, in that car. And it’s the only thing I’d ever done of any consequence.”

I watched the movie The Bucket List a while back, and while the movie was cheesier than expected, I did feel motivated to make a bucket list. I was surprised to find that things I always thought were important (like go see this or do that) did not make it to the list. The things that did were mostly internal and relationship oriented:
1. Stop worrying
2. Let go
3. Be empty
4. Be nice to my husband and kids and people in general
5. Figure out my relationship with my parents
6. Stop judging myself; stop judging others
7. Forgive
It is funny how our priorities change with time and hard fought wisdom.

Anyway–this comment is way too long now. My point was that I agree that love is the only thing of consequence–not just personally but universally.

Thanks for the reminder.
http://bodhibaby.blogspot.com/2008/04/dream-what-do-they-mean.html