Mothers: life, love, learning

May 11, 2008 in Uncategorized

By all external measures, I have done a lot of things, traveled to a lot of places, and met with a lot of distinguished people in my life. But it just pales in comparison. The very most important thing I do or am is a mother to my two daughters. Even when they wake me up from my happy mother’s day sleeping-in-so-they- can-surprise- me- with-breakfast slumber by screaming up a lung because their older sister won’t give them a tortilla.

We all have a mother, some still with us, others not present in our lives for some reason. Whether present now in our lives or not, perhaps a moment of silence today to thank them for giving us life, or maybe a lanyard we made in camp for them. Or simply the tip of a hat this week to a mother who is having a tough time in the grocery store with her toddler. I carry little pages of stickers (that I buy by the bucket full at Staples) in my wallet for those moments, to distract toddlers from the Neet Hair Removal System they are screaming to own, to give to them, to silently say "I know" to the mothers who are desperately trying to hold it together for just one more aisle, just until they get to the Nighttime Nyquil section.

Mothering is a hard job sometimes.

But I love it. It feels like a walk off a pier, into the future.

37days Do it Now Challenge

March right on down to your local office supply store, buy some bulk packages of Curious George stickers, and stick five sheets of them in your wallet. The next time you’re in the Piggly Wiggly and a child hypothetically named Tess is screaming like she has been poked with a spear tipped in rat poison because her aging mother who just received her invitation from AARP won’t buy her a Pooh balloon that says "Hi Honey Bunny!," quietly offer her a page of stickers. The distraction will likely shock her into silence, the mother will drop to her knees in sheer thankfulness, offering you everything in her wallet, and you’ll have done A Good Thing. And if you could do that at the Westgate Earth Fare in Asheville every Thursday afternoon around 4pm, I’d be much obliged.

About Patti Digh

Patti Digh is an author, speaker, and educator who builds learning communities and gets to the heart of difficult topics. Her work over the last three decades has focused on diversity, inclusion, social justice, and living and working mindfully. She has developed diversity strategies and educational programming for major nonprofit and corporate organizations and has been a featured speaker at many national and international conferences.

10 comments to " Mothers: life, love, learning "


Frivolitea

May 11, 2008 AT 7:29PM

Great idea! I love to support mothers any way I can! And that is a very subtle, thoughtful sort of support.

Kim

May 11, 2008 AT 11:20PM

My daughter and I just laughed until we cried reading this, thinking of every small child we’ve ever heard wailing in the grocery store because the eldest sibling got to pick out the cereal, or their “mean” mother refused to buy chocolate milk. Knowing full well how agonizing and/or embarrassing those tantrums can be, I always smile at the mother and say, “This happened to me, too, and I survived to laugh about it.”

Sometimes just asking the child if they’re having a bad day is enough to make them pause in mid sob. An elderly gentleman once asked my daughter this in the most kindly, soothing voice, as she was crying for candy at the check-out. She nodded her head yes and he replied, “I’m so sorry to hear that.” And like magic, my then three year-old daughter promptly stopped crying. I remember joking with the man that it would be so helpful if he could stand behind us in the check-out line every time we came to the store.

Thanks for bringing back an old memory, Patti. If I lived close by, I’d surely stuff some stickers in my wallet for Tess.

Debbie

May 12, 2008 AT 7:01AM

Being the mom of 4 beautiful individuals (now all grown up but always my babies) I could probably write a novel about our store adventures, some not very pretty I am afraid. I love the sticker idea ~ I buy stickers for myself just because so now I have even more reason to do so! Maybe you should design some 37days stickers – I would buy some!

Marilyn

May 12, 2008 AT 9:33AM

I didn’t want to read this post when I saw the title because after yesterday I’m ‘mothered’ out (I don’t have warm fuzzies re mothers, but that’s another story…) But leave it to you to take me somewhere I didn’t expect to go…and make me smile in spite of myself. ;)

Dharmamama

May 12, 2008 AT 11:47AM

I carry tiny bottles of bubbles with bubble wands in my purse for just this reason. Bubbles are magic. You can get the little ones at craft stores.

Mary-Sue

May 12, 2008 AT 3:49PM

LOL!!! You are just too good, Patti Digh. Too good. I don’t believe in bribing, but distraction from someone else? Well, that’s just pure love flowing between one momma and another. Love it! Thank you!

Becky

May 13, 2008 AT 10:14PM

I’ve always kept stickers in my purse and also a mini harmonica, too. No, not for her to play but for me. Hey, I’m willing to make a fool out of myself to stop a tantrum! I’d rather make a fool out of myself willingly than unwillingly….

Shay

May 16, 2008 AT 9:21PM

and some of us regret not having turned our backs and walked away from them years before we finally did.

(I will buy the stickers).

AnnMarie

May 26, 2008 AT 7:25AM

I just started reading your blog and mostly love it. But this post has bugged me since I read it last week. As the Mom of a 3 year old, I beg you NOT to do this. If my child was throwing a fit in the store and someone walked up and rewarded her for crying and screaming, I would be terribly annoyed. Stickers (bubbles, candy, whatever the treat is) should be a reward for GOOD behavior, not for bad behavior. My child would probably end up screaming even more loudly, because I would promptly take the item away. I do not give my child fun things when she’s throwing a fit and I will not let strangers do so either. (Nor grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc.) Sorry, but this one isn’t right; it just encourages the kid to throw a fit the next time they are in the store in hopes of more goodies.

How about giving the stickers to children who are behaving appropriately at the store? How come the good kids are the ones left out of the good stuff? :)

jylene

May 26, 2008 AT 9:00AM

thanks for a great laugh this morning! any mother having dealt with toddlers can relate to this one. i love the sticker idea and i second the the above comment re 37days stickers– i buy stickers for myself too!