What I suspect happens with the demonizing is that it goes two ways. We are always the other to them, as they are the other to us. More specifically, there seems to be this tug of war between the Western world and Islam. Ever since the Ayatollah Kohomeni called the United States “the great satan of the west” in 1979, we have become the other to them. I am not sure if it was this way before then but that is as far as my memory (I was born 1967) can take me in this issue. A lighter example is that of the Far East cultures and the western world. During my travels in Japan I always felt I was the other, on the outside looking in in a society that is practically homogeneous. We (as well as they) are always the other. Sad but true.

But isn’t it the very “otherness” that makes this world so interesting? I remember in pre-marital counseling being told to celebrate the differences between us, not hold them against each other because they’re, well, different. That’s the small circle I hope to see ripple out: It’s not what we have in common, but what separates us, that makes us the varied, fascinating species we are–otherwise, we might as well be ants.

The hard part is to embrace the otherness with curiousity instead of fear, because fear brings with it hatred, and we have too much of that in the world.

So true, we MUST close the gap between self and other without losing our specialness in the process. And it’s so true that this is the universal challenge in every relationship — between mother and child, between husband and wife, between employer and employee… If we could only approach each other’s differences with fascination and awe, replacing the fear and resentment and frustration…
I truly believe that every post you write ripples out into the world changing it forever. I am so grateful to you for your shared quiet processes…

m-s, your insight about relationships rings so true for me – and thank you for your very kind words…

Well said, Patti.

The seeming madness currently dividing our world, causing endless suffering, fear and feelings of helplessness has been on my mind a lot. Your words expressed a large part of how I feel … small, and unable to do anything big that will put an end to the terror.

The subject of the ‘other’ and our differences is one close to my heart. I believe passionately in empathy and trying to fit the other shoe so to arrive at peace from a place of understanding.

But wars are not just fought out of ignorance alone, although that will spark the fire in those who do the actual fighting, killing and dying. Most wars are initiated by those who want something, be it power, land, precious resources such as oil or gold, or even a woman (Helen of Troy)! And religion is often used as the vehicle that houses the troops; the ‘war’ between the Western ‘Christian’ world and Islam is an old one, just think of the crusades …

Empathy and the Third Way are worthy ambitions, yet difficult to carry out of there is personal involvement, such as having your family killed by the ‘other’; where do you find the capacity for forgiveness and understanding when that happens to you?

Yet we need to keep up the dialogue and communication, and spread the ripples as best as we can.

Take care,
Kerstin

Dear dear Patti. How much I adore you & your offerings via this blog.
I have long loved that verse by Rumi…
Many years ago I read The War Prayer (Twain) and it was then that I began to understand about my way, your way…what we are really asking for when we pray for victory.
Keep jumping…we hang out in your ripples and create our own.

Wonderful posting Patti. You have quoted two of my favorite poets: Robert Bly I have followed through the years. I got to see him in person in college (many years ago) and then at the Dodge Festival the last two times. He does not appear (yet) on this list for this year however.

And Rumi… Rumi was read by Coleman Barks who appeared at the last two festivals as well. The story goes that Bly pointed out Rumi to Coleman and told him he should translate Rumi. Coleman did, and he went on to do many books on Rumi.

The two of them (Bly and Barks) did a morning reading of Rumi backed by the Paul Winter Consort. It was a mystical experience not unlike a church service. Talk about coming together, circles of friends… words and music, the music of words, we were not there, we were out somewhere beyond ideas.

Steve – I think it is clear: I must go to the Dodge Poetry Festival this year, what with this description and your earlier mention of the fact that a certain Billy Collins will be there…it’s all a sign–so I’m going! Thanks for this evocative, wonderful memory of your experiences there.

Felicity – thank you for reminding me of Twain’s “War Prayer” and to examine more closely what we are really asking for when we pray for victory. After I read your comment, I read this in Paul Woodruff’s marvelous book, “Reverence: Renewing a Forgotten Virtue”:

“War is nothing new, and neither are killer strains of religion, pathogens that take hold of a people and send them into paroxysms of violence. War and religion will always be with us; we can’t expect to shake them off. But we can ask what it is in religion that might keep the dogs of war on leash, and what it is that whips them into a frenzy and lets them loose. It is reverence that moderates war in all times and cultures, irreverence that urges it on to brutality. The voices that call in the name of God for aggressive war have lost sight of human limitations. They have lost reverence, even when they serve a religious vision.”

This is as true of those of us in the U.S. as it is of those we “fight” against, I think. He goes further to say, “If you desire peace in the world, do not pray that everyone share your beliefs. Pray instead that all may be reverent.”

Thanks, as always, for your note.

Sometimes hope seems so hard to find, but it’s always available in abundance here. Thank you, Patti.